Another Mother’s Day is nearly here. This will be my eighth one without a mother. I totally realize I am lucky to have had a mother in my life well into my own mature adulthood. I fully realize many are not as lucky as me. Far too many have grown up without a mom or without remembering a mom in their lives. This is a difficult thing for me to imagine, but unfortunately, far too many understand this reality too well.
A mother’s love is something special. When your mother is gone, her love isn’t. This is important to remember and so very comforting, too, no matter how old you are or how long your mother’s been gone. A mother’s love is forever ‘stamped’ into, onto and around your heart.
For Mother’s Day I thought I’d share eleven things I miss about my mom. Of course, this list isn’t complete, nor is it in any order of importance. It’s totally random. And don’t ask me why I went with eleven things. Like I said it, it’s random. Thanks in advance for reading my list.
1. I miss my mother’s goodbyes.
My mother was the “queen of goodbyes”. Saying goodbye after visits to my parents’ house was a big deal and something that could never be hurried. There was protocol to follow when leaving her front porch. Now there is that empty space.
2. I miss how my mother made everything look so easy. I could still use my role model now and then. Okay every day.
My mother raised four kids, kept a spotless house, held down a part-time job, put on holiday celebrations and other get-togethers like no one else, was an avid reader, socialized regularly with her many friends and volunteered in countless, time-consuming leadership capacities at her church – while making it all look easy. How did she do that?
3. I miss the way my mother could start and keep conversations going.
As I’ve written about before, my dad is and always has been, a man of few words. My siblings and I are of the reserved nature as well. My mom on the other hand, could converse with anyone about anything. I don’t have that gift. I miss listening in on her conversations.
4. I miss the way my mother grand-mothered all the grandchildren in the family.
If anyone said anything unkind about any of them, watch out. She loved her grandchildren intensely, completely and unconditionally. I am so grateful my children knew and remember her.
5. I miss how my mother always made me feel special.
I may have been daughter number three, but I never felt third in anything.
6. I miss our chats about books and movies.
My mother loved books and often stayed up into the wee hours reading and wasn’t one bit embarrassed or apologetic about sleeping in late the following morning. Fittingly, she was the town librarian, so somehow she managed to land the perfect job for herself. She was also an avid movie goer and not a bad critic at that. Elizabeth Taylor was her favorite female movie star. Good choice.
7. I miss my mother’s stories about growing up in North Dakota during tough times.
I should have listened more attentively…
8. I miss the krumkake and rosettes my mother made each Christmas and how she strategically rationed out all her tasty home-made holiday treats, miraculously making them last until my older sister’s birthday on January 2nd. And I miss the gravy she made for our annual Thanksgiving feast. It was so good. Actually, I miss the whole darn meal.
Even though I have the recipes for all the above, I can’t seem to replicate any of them.
9. I miss how my mother irritated me sometimes.
It would be lovely to be irritated by her again now and then.
10. I miss seeing my mother’s roses.
I don’t miss roses, just her roses. Personally, I have no desire to grow roses. Why would I want to grow plants that have daggers on them? But I do miss her beautiful roses and seeing the rest of her gorgeous blooms as well.
11. I miss the loving bantering that went on between my mom and dad.
I miss how my parents made each other happy. I’m glad that when my mom died from metastatic breast cancer, my dad was holding her hand.
I miss these things about my mother and so many more…
Don’t get me wrong, my mother wasn’t without faults. Who is?
Our relationship wasn’t perfect either. But it was solid.
I miss my mother, think about her every day and remind myself how lucky I was to have had her in my life for as long as I did.
Happy Mother’s Day to mothers everywhere and to all women who love and nurture children, and not just their own.
Is there a special mom, grandmother, aunt or other special person no longer living who you think about on Mother’s Day?
What do you miss about them?
What are your Mother’s Day plans?
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