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Nine Cancer Language Traps

Nine Cancer Language Traps

Nine cancer language traps worth talking about.

Words matter. A lot. Cancer words matter too, and it seems to me, cancer language needs an overhaul. The way we describe certain aspects of a cancer experience is simply out of date and worn out.

Even when I was a newbie going through chemo, I found certain ideas, words and/or phrases highly annoying. I still do.

So, I decided to put together a list of what I see as a few of the top cancer language traps. Let me know what you think in the comments. Granted, it was hard to narrow it down.

And by the way, airing one’s cancer language gripes opinions is not being negative. In fact, I think quite the opposite is true.

Doing so is helpful because how else will cancer language ever evolve and change for the better?

Also, just for the record, I never intend to make anyone feel badly for falling into any of these (or any other) cancer language traps, and I fully realize many people don’t even consider them traps.

This is not meant to be a finger pointing sort of post. Heck, I still fall into the cancer language traps, too. Society has made these kinds of ‘catch alls’ so easy and so accessible.

Perhaps we’ve gotten a bit lazy about words we use — and not just regarding cancer.

Each trap is filled with trite phrases that have been ingrained into our brains for so long, we often just go to them without really thinking about it. Ideas, words and phrases that we use (even cancer ones) can become rote-like too.

I say, we can do better.

I say, it is time for a cancer language overhaul, because words always matter.

Before we can do the overhaul, we need to figure out which traps or generalizations are most troubling for a lot of us and then hopefully come up with some alternatives.

The things on this list aren’t specific things people say, rather they are a kind of mind set or a type of thinking that is out there. They represent a sort of accepted way of looking at or talking about cancer; or as I call them, cancer language traps.

Each trap has dozens (probably more) of specific examples of things people say. This post and this list is not about those specifics, though I threw in a couple of examples. Nor does this list come close to covering all the traps. But…

For starters, I’m going with these nine cancer language traps which maybe should/could be avoided at least some of the time. Of course, they are all related too.

1. Calling cancer a gift or a blessing (ex. cancer’s the best thing that ever happened to me)

2. Above all else, just stay positive (ex. you can beat this if you just try hard).

You might want to read, What Does Beating Cancer Mean Anyway?

3. War metaphor words and phrases, and there are a lot of them (ex. fight, warrior, win/lose, battle talk, victorious, surrender and so on).

Yes, I realize some folks like this sort of thing, but many of us do not.

4. When someone dies, saying so and so lost her courageous battle with cancer is soooo cliche. This one is in a ‘war class’ all its own IMO. Journalists almost always resort to this one when a celebrity or someone famous dies.

This would be a great place to start the overhaul. Very doable!

You might want to read, Stating a Person Lost Her/His Battle with Cancer Is Insulting!

5. Cancer transforms you into a new and improved version of your former self – you become enlightened (ex. cancer taught me so much).

6. Cancer makes you strong, courageous, brave, tough, heroic and so on… (tied up with #3 and #4 too of course).

7. New normal talk (what does new normal even mean?)

8. Referring to cancer as a journey – there’s gotta be a better word

9. Any kind of ‘free boob job’ reference for obvious (I hope) reasons.

You might want to read, Ten Reasons Why Breast Reconstruction Is Not a Boob Job.

Maybe I’ll do a followup post or two on cancer language later, as there’s so much to say about each of the above. I’m sure I forgot some important traps, so let me know what you think is missing from this list. I want to know what you think.

Perhaps you don’t care about cancer language, much less cancer language traps.

But wouldn’t it be a good idea for us all to at least think a little more about things we say before resorting to the old, worn-out cancer cliches so often?

I say, yes.

What about you?

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What’s on your cancer language trap list?

Does cancer language matter to you, why or why not?

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Nine Cancer Language Traps #cancer #cancersucks #battletalk #warmetaphors
Words Matter.

Wendy

Monday 31st of July 2023

I had cancer in 2020. I agree about not saying a person lost their battle with cancer. Instead, I usually say they passed away. Also, I've had a hard time hearing people talk to me about my "journey". I know they mean well but, as far as I'm concerned, it romanticizes it. I know, for a fact, there is nothing romantic about having cancer.

Nancy

Thursday 3rd of August 2023

Wendy, I prefer to use the "D" words and most of the time, I do. And yeah, I've never been a fan of "journey" either unless I'm going to an actual destination. For some, it works well. To each her own I guess. Thank you for sharing.

CazfromOz

Wednesday 4th of August 2021

I also prefer thrivor to survivor!

CazfromOz

Wednesday 4th of August 2021

I prefer misadventure to journey.....

Monica

Friday 28th of May 2021

I dont mind the "Journey". Because I took the scenic route, side effects galore, including hospitalizations, and kidney problems. I tell my friends, when they start their journey, to get on the dang Express Train! LOL.

L

Sunday 4th of October 2020

Hi my darling mum's just been diagnosed with breast cancer and well it's too far to do anything some words of wisdom to say would be wonderful in these dark times any advice caring for her is already so hard and we're not far in!

Nancy

Tuesday 6th of October 2020

L, I'm sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis. It sounds like you will be a wonderful support person for her. I don't really have any words of wisdom. Sorry. Let her be real. Listen and take your cues from her. Don't tell her how to feel. Skip the platitudes. That's probably my best advice in a nutshell. Here's a post that comes to mind that you might be interested in: https://nancyspoint.com/when-someone-you-care-about-is-hurting-dont-try-to-be-a-fixer/ Thank you for reading and taking time to share. My best to you both.