Did you know May is Mental Health Month? Not that many people do.
I’m sharing the following journal entry that I wrote a while back. It was written on a day when my mood was, shall we say, dark.
I’m sharing it because it is dark.
I’m sharing it because I thought of myself as a victim that day. I’m sharing it because many cancer patients suffer from depression. I’m sharing it because I don’t believe enough attention is given to a cancer patient’s mental well-being and too many are still afraid to talk about it. I’m sharing it because I believe every cancer patient should meet at least once with a mental health professional.
I’m sharing it because cancer or no cancer, talking about mental health matters, and not just in May but every day.
Cancer is a scourge. I read that in a magazine today and just reading it made me feel badly. I don’t like being part of a scourge. Who would?
Even the word sounds thorny and evil.
But cancer is evil.
Cancer is like a serpent lurking patiently, waiting to strike and swallow you whole. Or maybe it’s more like a science fiction type virus that methodically takes over one’s body, slowly at first in unsuspecting tiny increments until it mutates and grows into an unstoppable force attempting to consume its victim’s body and soul bit by bit.
In the beginning, you don’t even know you’re host to such a thing. Cancer is patient and willing to grow slowly and silently.
The cancer is never satisfied, but rather is always relentlessly hungry for more of you. It seems cunning and overpowering, taking pieces of you away and tricking you into believing you have conquered it when in reality, you are just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
You think you are recovering from your latest assignment of cancer duties; the diagnosis, the biopsy, the surgery, the chemo; but really you are only in a waiting game.
It’s like some kind of chess match between you and cancer.
You’re never quite sure you have made the right moves or if you ever will.
The stakes of this match are high; not just win or lose, but live or die.
Cancer is evil.
Maybe cancer is a scourge.