In by gone days (this really means pre-cancer days), I generally considered two of my better physical features to be my hair and my eyes. Not that they were anything all that great, but they were two features I could work with.
Then along came cancer and chemo; suddenly in addition to no more breasts, there was also no more hair and no more eyelashes.
Losing body parts completely stinks.
The “lesser losses” like hair, lashes and brows aren’t much fun either.
In some ways losing my eyelashes was harder than losing my hair because while I could plop a wig on my head whenever I felt I needed to or wanted to, my bare eyes were suddenly just, well, bare. And I had absolutely no desire to attempt fake eyelashes. Plus, I was told the glue is often problematic for chemo patients anyway and who needs glue problems when going through chemo, right?
When chemo ended, I often wondered “how long would I have to look like this?” I waited patiently for my hair to regrow.
I waited. And waited. Actually, I’m still waiting.
Things progressed slowly, ironically except in places where I didn’t want hair. Is that more than you wanted to know? Sorry.
Today the hair on my head is nothing like it used to be.
I hate to admit it but when my family members and I go out, one of their jobs now is to check the back of my head for bald spots. If I’m strategic enough and if it’s not super windy, I can usually fluff things around enough to make do. Depending on where we’re going or if I’m out by myself, often times I simply resort to wearing a hat or cap because it’s easier and a whole lot less stressful than wondering what the person standing behind me in the checkout line might be thinking about my bald spots.
As for my eyelashes, they remain pretty sparse. The art of putting on mascara now requires even more expertise to avoid that unattractive clumpy-stuck-together look.
You’re probably thinking by now that vanity is one of those deadly sins, right?
I know in the scheme of things hair and eyelashes are insignificant, but still…
I miss my old hair and lashes. I hate how cancer treatment took what I perceived to be two of my better physical features.
There I said it.
I feel better.
What on-going side effects from cancer treatment are you dealing with?
What’s something you miss about your “old self”?
Do you have something you’d like to rant a bit about?