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Why My Primary Care Physician Is My New Best Friend

Why My Primary Care Physician Is My New Best Friend

After my recent annual checkup with my primary care physician, I decided she just might be my new best friend, medically speaking that is, of course.

As I prepared for my appointment which really means as my list of things to cover continued to grow, I felt sort of guilty. I felt as if she was the one in charge, again medically speaking, of helping me pick up the pieces. And there were/are quite a few pieces to pick up! 

Don’t get me wrong, all the specialists (and there have been too many to list out) I’ve seen are great. I value their expertise immensely. But partly due to this expertise their “vision” tends to be very focused.

For instance, oncologist #5 has reminded me more than once that her primary job is to try to keep my cancer in check. I get that. I want that.

Since I now have a cancer resume, I realize I will always be thought of as a cancer patient from here on out by most of my doctors. Heck, even my dentist now “knows” and requests updates on things.

But I am more than a cancer patient. 

I am a whole person with whole body (and mind) issues that matter too.

All the other specialists I’ve seen and see still, wear “blinders” to a certain extent. It’s harder for them to widen their view of me. It just is.

When a person starts tiptoeing through survivorship, there can be a lot of cancer fallout to contend with. Unfortunately, many of you reading this blog know exactly what I’m talking about.

Even if you’re lucky enough to be “finished” with cancer treatment, there is a lot of cancer crap to deal with from there on out. I won’t bother to list out all my personal issues, but let’s just say I couldn’t cover all of them in one, though lengthy annual physical appointment. My PCP requested another meeting so we could discuss things further and yes, she did also end up referring me to yet another specialist… Like I said, I have a few issues…

What I love most about my PCP is her willingness to listen – really listen.

As I’ve written about before, too often doctors seem dismissive. This doesn’t mean they are dismissive, but sometimes impressions, good or bad, are what patients remember most.

Another reason I respect my PCP so much is because she not only listens, she offers me something else that’s intangible, but equally important – validation.

For example, she acknowledged the difficulty I’ve been having with side effects from taking Arimidex. She listened, but more than that she offered compassionate validation.

After considerable listening coupled with some pretty frank discussion, she said, “Nancy, I’m giving you permission to go off all AIs for one month. Let’s see if we can start getting you to feel better. Let’s just do it.”

Of course, it’s not like I needed her permission and I had pretty much already decided I’d be stopping for a short break, but hearing her say those words meant a lot.

It was validation.

She went on to say, “I don’t think you’ve recovered fully from cancer treatment. I don’t think your body has bounced back yet from the harshness of chemo.” (I’ll spare you the details).

More validation.

Next, and most importantly, together we devised a PLAN.

And I like the plan.

We have lots to work on, but at least now I have a PLAN.

This is such an important missing link for so many in cancer care survivorship.

Every cancer patient deserves a PLAN for survivorship because frankly, tiptoeing through this thing called survivorship isn’t as easy as it’s cracked up to be. Mostly because cancer and all the accompanying fallout is never really over.

So, while all the specialists in your medical life are probably pretty terrific, don’t underestimate the help and guidance your primary care physician might be able to offer you as well.

You might discover that yours is your new best friend too.

How many specialists have you been sent to?

What kind of doctor/patient relationship do you have with your PCP?

Do you have a survivorship plan, or have you discussed one with your doctor?

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Why my primary care physician is my new best friend

 

Abigail Johnston

Saturday 25th of July 2020

Yes!! This is my experience as well. So many doctors are in their silos and don’t venture out. My PCP (the first one I’ve really had since I had a pediatrician) looks at me as a whole person, in a different way than my palliative doc. She helps me see where she fits in and she offers to interface directly with my other doctors when things get complicated or she sees something different. Such a great addition to my ever growing team. ❤️

Nancy

Monday 27th of July 2020

Abigail, I'm glad you have a PCP you can rely on to see the big picture too. She sounds pretty wonderful. Thank you for sharing about her.

Linda Boberg

Wednesday 18th of April 2018

I can't say anything wonderful about my PCP. She's okay. My first oncologist was amazing and I mourned when she moved to another state. She was a great listener and she started with a plan for me, including me, etc. Can't say the same for the new oncologist. But where your article really hits me is that I have acquired 2 new specialists after having a stroke a month ago. One is kind. The other makes my skin crawl. She wants all these tests and I went to hear not having psyched myself up for anything like that. Get her to do the TEE that the neurologist recommended and be done with it. instead she had me doing a 2 week heart monitor, followed by the TEE and now is talking about inserting something like a port to keep track of my heart's rythm for 3-4 more years! And during the appointment it became apparent that she hadn't even read my medical history because she called me 'lucky' because only - ONLY! - my sight was weakened by the stroke. Personal interactions to doctors is everything to me. It is lucky to find doctors you can relate to, and that listen to you. Thanks again for a wonderful piece.

Mandi

Monday 9th of September 2013

When I finished treatment they gave me a book about survivorship. I thought it would be positive and happy and instead it was very depressing, but looking back at it now it really covered the ups and the downs of survivorship. I love your idea of a plan for survivorship. A plan would be great.

I love my PCP. I am spending a lot of time with her lately, but she has been my doctor since I was 12 years old and she listens to me, so I drive 40 minutes to go see her. She was the one who ordered the tests that diagnosed my cancer and I appreciate her very much.

I also have a million specialists. Crazy to be 33 and take the number of medications that I do and have as many doctors as I do. :)

Nancy

Saturday 14th of September 2013

Mandi, At least you received a book about survivorship. That's something. It's such a neglected area IMO. I'm glad you love your PCP too. I just saw mine again yesterday. More issues to take care of... And yes, it is crazy to be 33 and have so many meds and so many docs... Thank you for reading and commenting.

coffeemommy

Friday 16th of August 2013

Nancy, my PCP doesn't need to by my best friend...

because I want YOURS!

Love that you felt validated. Double love that you have a plan! *hug*

Nancy

Friday 16th of August 2013

Coffeemommy, I am pretty happy with my PCP and I feel lucky to have her on my team. Maybe the fact that I've had so many oncologists makes me appreciate her even more. Thank you for your support! Hugs back.

Stephanie Zimmermna

Wednesday 14th of August 2013

Survivorship is NOT an easy path by any stretch of the imagination, yet each and every one of us NEEDS to not only be heard and validated, but we also NEED to begin to view ourselves as individuals who are WELL people. THIS is what will translate into each of us being more than cancer patients.

Nancy, thank you for your blog, for the dialogue your stimulate, and for the thought you provoke in my mind and the minds of so many with each and every post.

Much Love Stephanie

Nancy

Friday 16th of August 2013

Stephanie, Survivorship is far from an easy path that's for sure. Thanks for reading, sharing your thoughts and for the kind words.