It's okay to feel your anger, maybe even necessary

It’s Okay to Feel Your Anger, Maybe Even Necessary

I am not an angry person. Anyone who knows me would say this is true, but of course, I certainly get angry from time to time. Who doesn’t? Sometimes anger is a bit misunderstood in Cancerland. It’s one of those “forbidden” emotions, which is silly because why wouldn’t receiving a cancer diagnosis (or having a loved one receive one) make a person angry from time to time?

When I first received the call from the doctor delivering the news of my diagnosis matter-of-factly as if letting me know I had an ear infection or strep throat, I admit it. I was shocked and then I was angry.

I was angry cancer “picked” me. I was angry breast cancer still existed. I was angry at my mother for not being here when I needed her and yes, I was angry she didn’t get cancer until she was in her seventies. I was angry to be diagnosed decades younger, as if getting cancer at a later age is better. It’s not. I was angry for putting my family through cancer again and so soon. I was angry for losing control of my health, my plans and my life in general. I was angry cancer interrupted the smoothness of my life, for butting in where it did not belong.

So yes, I was angry for these and lots of other reasons too.

Often times people with cancer feel guilty for not “doing cancer right.” They feel guilty for not feeling positive and may even wrongly feel this lack of positivity affects their cancer outcome. It doesn’t. They feel guilty for whatever it is they might really be feeling that doesn’t fit the mold of “proper cancer behavior.” They often feel, well, angry.

Well, guess what?

It’s okay to feel your anger, in fact, it might even be necessary.

Anger, just like any emotion, is not good or bad in and of itself. Feeling angry can be a perfectly reasonable emotion for a person with cancer to be feeling, just not all the time, of course. Anger can provide a means to vent and let off steam. For some, it might even be essential to feel anger in order to process through the messiness of cancer.

Yes, anger can sometimes be a necessary, even useful emotion. It can be a great motivator. Just like I always told my students, it’s okay to feel angry. It’s what you decide to do with your anger that matters.

Anger is like a pot of boiling water on the stove.

First, the water starts off at a slow simmer with gentle bubbles gurgling, creating just a little heat and steam. As the temperature builds, the water becomes hotter. As it reaches its boiling point, it becomes powerful, even dangerous with its scalding temps and vaporizing steam. If the boiling continues, eventually the water disappears and you end up with nothing but an empty, burnt ill-smelling pot.

Anger, too, can simmer, intensify and finally boil over if you try to keep it in or covered up. Just like the “boiled out” pot on the stove, concealed or covered-up anger can eventually leave you feeling empty, burned out and able to accomplish little.

This is why it’s important to allow yourself to feel all your emotions, even anger. 

Purposefully channeled anger can be a great motivator. Use yours to fight back in your own way, not someone else’s way. Let yourself feel your anger and harness its energy to accomplish things.

So, if you or someone you care about has been diagnosed with cancer, allow yourself (or them) to feel all their emotions, including anger. Figure out (or help them figure out) a way to use it in a constructive way. It might take a while to figure something out, but you will.

I am not an angry person, but I do get angry sometimes.

These days what makes me angry about cancer is hearing news that yet another friend was diagnosed with mets. And another, also with mets, was hospitalized and still another ended up in ICU with chemo complications. I get angry when I hear about organizations proclaiming their mission is to eliminate cancer and yet they are allocating less than 10% of donated dollars to research and less than 5% to metastatic cancer research. I get angry when the focus continues to be on breast cancer awareness and pink ribbon shopping nonsense. I get frustrated when well-meaning people don’t take time to question.

Mostly, I get angry when people I know and people I don’t know keep dying from metastatic breast cancer.

Yes, I still get angry from time to time. When I do, I do what I always do, I write about it.

What do YOU do?

What makes/made you angry about cancer?

How do you channel your anger?

Have you felt guilty for feeling angry?

Sign up for news/emails from Nancy’s Point!

 

It's okay to feel your anger.

59 thoughts on “It’s Okay to Feel Your Anger, Maybe Even Necessary

  1. Oh, this is a great topic!! I was rarely angry about my cancer, it just took energy away from what I was trying to do – survive. ButI would often feel intense anger for other people, especially the kids I would sometimes see at radiation! My cancer, I accepted & fought; others – I was pissed that anyone else would ever have to go through what I was.

    But after 10 years, I think I feel more anger now – anger about what was lost. The time, the friends, the dreams….

    I do my best to acknowledge it – can’t deny it – and then re-focus on what’s next.

    1. Julie, Thanks so much for your comments. I find it interesting you weren’t angry for yourself when going through cancer, but were angry to see others going through it, lots of empathy shown there. I know what you mean about feeling anger for things lost. I think it’s good to acknowledge such feelings and then try to refocus as you do.

  2. Excellent post Nancy. I think cancer has just about pushed me to the limits of where my behavior lies on the social acceptance continuum. For me anger is a positive emotion. It fuels my fire and keeps me motivated, better than any stupid chemo drug could. 😉

    1. Anna, I totally agree that anger can be a positive emotion. Anger does have a way of fueling the fire and being a catalyst for action. You are a wonderful example of how someone turns anger into meaningful action. I admire you for doing that so well. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  3. This is an eloquent and much appreciated article, Nancy. I can get caught up in “staying positive” to the point where I feel guilty if I’m not, which makes me even more angry. 3 years later, I’m still angry that my first surgeon and staff handled everything so poorly with blatant insensitivity. It makes me more angry is that he’s still treating patients, probably still scaring women unnecessarily every day. What’s frustrating is that he’s just a jerk, and didn’t do anything medically wrong that I can report. What I can do – I sent him a letter (with a copy to the referring physician), and keep on acting as an advocate to empower other folks find a supportive, caring medical team.

    1. Laurie, Thanks so much for commenting. The whole positive attitude thing can be so self destructive. I don’t like the implication that positivity equates surviving cancer. It doesn’t. I’m sorry you had such a bad experience with your doctor, but you turned that anger into something positive by becoming an advocate helping to empower others. Good for you! That’s exactly what I’m trying to say in this post, turn your anger into something positive for you or others.

  4. Thanks for writing about this, Nancy. I love Laurie’s point about staying positive & feeling guilty if she’s not. My anger wasn’t that I had breast cancer, but that I kept telling the doctors “I don’t care what the mammogram says, something’s not right.” I was angry at myself that I didn’t take my power back and insist on a biopsy. Huge lesson learned. Huge. It may be the hardest thing we ever do, but we must find a way to let go of our anger because we, and our immune system, are the one who suffers most.

    XOXOXO,
    Brenda

    1. Brenda, Thank you so much for sharing your insights. I think you turned your anger into something REALLY positive by becoming such a staunch advocate. You channeled your anger in a big way for a cause, so you are a really great example of what can come from properly directed anger or bad experiences. I imagine you have helped many women by sharing the lesson you learned from not insisting on that biopsy, so some good even came from that particular experience that made you angry.

  5. When I was a young woman, I was afraid of my anger, but eventually I learned how to channel it into righteous or creative action. Now, it’s come to be like a wellspring of energy that I can tap into to fuel perspective, solve problems and initiate helpful, constructive action, on my own behalf or on behalf of others. The ability to transform anger into action takes a bit of practice, but it can be the source of great empowerment.

    The trouble with trying to ‘let go’ of it is that the phrase often gets interpreted as pushing it inside & ends up continuing to wreak havoc on our immune systems. Brenda, you ended up starting your website, so that’s really where you put your anger, which was not so much a letting go but a redirection. Internalized anger often leads to fatigue, depression and feelings of invalidation or powerlessness. Not good.

    When we feel angry, the worst thing we can do is invalidate ourselves or have others insist we should feel bad about feeling it. People tend to assign values to feelings like anger, sadness, and fear, and regard some feelings as ‘negative.’ I don’t think that’s either valid or helpful. We always have a choice about what to do with or about our feelings, and accepting them doesn’t mean wallowing in them, but acknowledging our humanity.

    This is a post about assigning values to our feelings. http://accidentalamazon.com/blog/2010/02/02/cancer-happens/

    1. Kathi, You raised some really good points in your comments. I totally agree, we cannot invalidate our feelings because then we end up invalidating ourselves and burying feelings deeper that will eventually resurface anyway. Internalizing anger is particularly damaging and can even be dangerous as you suggested. I agree, the trick is to figure out something to do with our feelings that is hopefully constructive and healing. Thanks for sharing your insights, Kathi.

  6. Hi Nancy,

    Yes, I do get angry about my cancer diagnosis sometimes. At first I was just tearful about it all then the anger kicked in – now it raises it’s head from time to time but I know to just accept that it IS okay to feel angry.

    I think the thing that made me absolutely the angriest ever was when someone said to me ‘If you don’t get yourself into a positive frame of mind you will not beat this, it will take your life’….I was so mad at that point.

    Yes, it’s better to *try* to be positive but I’m not prepared to blame anyone when they can’t feel that way and I’m certainly not going to tell them it’ll be their fault if the cancer wins just because they couldn’t feel positive about being burned, cut and poisoned in an effort to stop cancer in it’s tracks.

    I’m waffling now and getting angry all over again :-))
    Much luv xxxx

    1. Carole, It’s so good to hear from you. I hope things are going well for you. Wow, I can’t believe someone actually said you needed to get positive or you would not beat this. I don’t blame you for being angry at that point! I agree, it’s better to try to be positive, but one cannot carry around that heavy load of expected positivity 24/7 and it certainly doesn’t guarantee survival. Thanks for sharing your great comments!

  7. Now I feel like I should be angry more! I tend to try to force myself to stay positive, and when I just can’t pull it off the emotion I tend to swing to is sad and frustrated. I will usually write or just curl up with my dog when I am an emotional disaster.

    1. Mandi, Thanks so much for reading today and commenting. You make an important point here, forcing yourself to feel positive often leads to sadness and frustration instead. That’s why I think it’s ok to validate all feelings, even anger. I find I can move out of anger faster in the long run if I acknowledge it when it happens. And, oh I love how you get emotional support from your dog! I get a great deal from mine too! Thanks for sharing.

  8. Nancy,

    Great job on a topic that’s often hard for women. The expression of feelings – from anger to rage and grief – is key in coping with anything, whether it’s cancer or another boulder that life has tossed on your path. Keep speaking out, keep writing, keep talking. Thanks for an excellent post,
    Jody

    1. Jody, Thank you for joining this discussion. I agree with you about the importance of expressing feelings. I think it’s way harder to cope if you don’t first validate true feelings.

  9. Nancy, what a great topic for discussion. I agree with your premise that anger is a stronger emotion than fear, lasting longer and harder to quench.

    What makes me angry about cancer? That it’s so commercialized and that I’m now offended by women’s “boob jokes.”

    How do I channel my anger? Writing and journaling about it just as you do, and praying it away.

    Have I felt guilty for feeling angry? You bet! Like you, I’m not normally an angry person, so when I blow my top I wonder who is going to judge me for not keeping a lid on my emotions. I’m looked to as someone very even-keeled and stoic…how could I lose control?

    I agree with Jody: keep speaking out, writing, and talking.

    XOXOXO,
    Jan

    1. Jan, Thanks for joining in on this discussion. Anger in regards to cancer is an important topic that often is not addressed and people too often attempt to cover up or hide their true feelings of anger, which unfortunately only leads to more frustration and anger.

  10. I am angry all the time lately! Angry that I am so sick at 31. Angry that I will never have children. Angry that I have stage 4 cancer and see my life slipping away before my eyes. Angry…. really, really angry, at friends, loved ones and complete strangers for getting to live life, have the energy to go out and enjoy a sunny day or a holiday BBQ… or get married. Or do ANYTHING. I am very bitter, and its such a difficult thing to move past. Thanks so much for this post.

    1. Karinna, First of all, I don’t blame you one bit for feeling angry considering all you are coping with. If anyone deserves to feel angry it’s you, considering all the things you mention you feel you are missing out on. It is really hard to move past those feelings isn’t it? I sincerely hope you have, or can find, at least one person you can talk to about how you are REALLY feeling. Your feelings are very real and need validation. Then hopefully you can find a place to channel some of that energy. Good luck to you and please let me know how you are doing. You are not alone. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  11. Yes Nancey I get angry. I get angry that people expect me to behave differently, in a “Cancer|” way. Or they are almost disappointed that I’m not walking around sicker . Or that I moan about joint pain. I need to get over it , stop being a cry baby take your pills and shut up….I’m angry because my family doctor was off the mark. He tol me the large lump on my side was a “fatty tissue” my swollen arm from twisting it likely….I’m angry because I didn’t ask for this, but then again who does? I’m angry because my boys think they are helping me by leaving things laying around. It’s supposed to keep me motivated to keep moving…I’m angry because I’m not an angry person but find myself silently screaming……If I wasn’t angry I’d sit in a corner and cry……..

    1. Alli, Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I know what you mean about those expectations and labels. I hope you have someone to talk with about your anger because it worries me to hear you say you are silently screaming inside. I think we all need to be listened to and then try to figure out places to direct some of that anger energy. I hope venting here helps in some small way. Good luck to you, Alli. Keep in touch.

  12. I’m ‘glad’ to see all these angry women… we should be angry, I know that after I’d come through three years of surgery and treatments I thought I’d feel, well, jubilant. But I didn’t, I felt ANGRY. Angry about just how much cancer stole from me, from my life and my partner’s life. Angry that I live with this uncertainty about whether I will die of breast cancer. I’m still angry, that’s why I write. I’m angry also that other women will experience breast cancer…. that more women will follow me, that the statistics are going up, not down, that we don’t have a cure, that we don’t look at prevention…

    I wrote a magazine feature last year about the importance of anger in breast cancer culture… you can read it here:
    http://beingsarahblog.wordpress.com/2010/12/15/anger-has-an-important-place-in-breast-cancer-culture/

    Thanks Nancy for bringing up this subject… anger is a great motivator for change, and we sure need some change in breast cancer culture.

    1. Sarah, I totally understand what you are saying and I agree change is needed in the breast cancer culture. Thanks for commenting and sharing your link.

  13. I tend to stuff my anger way down and of course it ends up resurfacing as the dreaded depression but the one time I did get boiling mad during my treatment was when I realised just before starting chemotherapy that the treatment might make me infertile. As a young woman at the time of diagnosis I was SOOO angry that my oncologist never discussed this with me before starting treatment. Then I found that there was no information for me in my own country on what options were available for fertility preservation. For the first time in my life I didn’t bury this anger but channelled it into something productive. I set about gathering a team of experts together and produced a patient information booklet detailing the effects of cancer treatment on fertility and the options available for preservation. It was a booklet aimed at empowering women with choices regarding their fertility and it is now available in all breast clinics in Ireland. The act of doing this went a long way towards dissipating my anger and helping me get some control back again. Thanks for bringing up this terrific topic!

    1. Marie, You are not alone in being taught to stuff down your anger. I love how you put that, by the way! I’m sorry your doctor didn’t fully discuss the chemo implications in regard to fertility. That was just plain wrong. Good for you for channeling that resulting anger into something so positive for others as well as for yourself. And don’t forget about your world-wide famous blog! You have done a lot of good, Marie, but that still doesn’t take away your pain resulting from what you lost and I’m sorry for that.

  14. Great post, Nancy! Yes, I feel angry sometimes. Who wouldn’t when they’re diagnosed with metastatic cancer at a young age and when they see beloved friends and advocates passing away from the disease?

    Anger is just an emotion and I agree you need to feel it rather than stuff it down. Then you can let it go and get on with your life. And I also agree it’s great to use it as a motivator.

    When an oncologist told me “You will die of breast cancer,” that really pissed me off! So much so that I decided to find people from around the country who were told they were going to die and beat all predictions.

    My “revenge” is also to defy their predictions of my early demise and show them they were wrong. I have fantasies of going to their offices and dancing around in a victory dance!

    And I hope to somehow contribute to finding a cure by encouraging donations to research for metastatic disease. We all have a role to play to make this happen.

    1. Tami, Yes, you have had plenty to feel angry about that’s for sure. I like how you have chosen to use your anger as a self-motivator. That was what I wanted part of the message of this post to be. I think your oncologist saying what he did to you in that manner was more than a bit insensitive. He isn’t God. I’m glad you found your catalyst for action. And yes, everyone needs to play a role in bringing change so more focus is given to metastatic bc and research and you DON”T have to have cancer to be a part of that change! Thank you for commenting, Tami.

  15. Nancy, this is spot on. “Often people with cancer feel guilty for not “doing cancer right.” It’s like getting a “D” in survivorship! This is also, I think, one of the byproducts of the feel-good festivities around the cause.

    1. Gayle, You are so right about the feel-good festivites thing which invalidates true feelings and experiences. I like how you compare “not doing cancer right” to getting a “D” in survivorship. What a perfect analogy! Thanks for commenting.

  16. Oh I’m angry alright. And by the time I am done some heads are gonna roll. Starting with my bottom feeding employers and a one way trip to a Human Rights Tribunal in September. After I’m done chewing them up and spitting them out, I am going to address the discrimination in our Employment Insurance program. Why can a woman choose to have a baby and go on maternity leave (one I work with went on mat leave when I started chemo in Dec 2009, came back Dec 2010 and as of last week is gone on another year of mat leave), yet another woman diagnosed with breast cancer and unable to work is not worthy of coverage? 15 weeks to “GET OVER IT”? I don’t THINK so.

    Yeah. I’m angry. And the best part is that as I put active treatment further and further behind me, my energy grows, my cognitive abilities return and I can actually DO something about it.

    I’ve gone toe to toe with cancer twice. I’m not afraid of anything but they’d damned well better be afraid of me.

    1. Denise, I can feel your anger coming through in your words. I had not thought of the maternity leave issue in this realm before. What you say makes a lot of sense. I’m glad you are using your anger to fight for something you are clearly passionate about. Good for you! Thanks so much for commenting. I hope you’ll be back! And good luck!

    2. Denise,

      You are officially my hero!! Good for you. Let them fear you; they should. Hopefully, by the time you’re done with them, you can own your company and fire those who are discriminating against you. Yes, it’s unfair that people can have maternity leave, but so unfair that, in many cases, people undergoing cancer treatment are given a hard time for taking time off.

      In my case, I was at a job (thank goodness I’m no longer there), where they expected me to do OVERTIME while undergoing treatment. And they thought they were doing me a favor by letting me use my saved up VACATION DAYS to get chemo.

      Aw, what nice vacation days they were!

      Luckily, I’m at another place, but if my previous employer gave me anymore flack, they’d be pretty scared of me, too.

      YOU GO GIRL!!

    3. Hello Denise,

      If only cancer had a rear end, then you could gleefully laugh as you kick cancer’s rear end time and again.

  17. It wasn’t so much anger I experienced but more a combination of anger and sadness at the same time. I felt loss of my youth, loss of some friends, and felt that I was entering another chapter of my life that I wasn’t ready for. In the sadness living in a new state (GA) I found great encouragement, new friends, and a determination to live and enjoy life. It’s just been 2 years since my diagnosis. This last January I started being pro active making decisions looking forward. Oh, I still get angry/sad – hard to separate, but I move on, and I give thanks to all my blogging friends, like you, helping me move forward. Thanks Nancy.

    1. Betty, I am so glad you shared your thoughts on this topic. Thank you. There are a lot of losses with a cancer diagnosis, so it’s perfectly natural you felt sad as you grieved for things you lost. It’s great to hear you have become more proactive in making decisions while looking forward to your future. Good for you! You are very kind to say your blogging friends have played a role in that. Thanks so much. Such a compliment mean a great deal.

  18. Nancy,

    This is a brilliant posting and very thought-provoking, so much so that I had to step away and re-read it about three times and ponder it.

    You captured the essence of the wide gamut of feelings the breast cancer patient — former and current — have.

    My anger issues? Lemme see….I think the pot runneth over.

    I get angry when people say things like “think positively,” when we all know that attitude doesn’t cure or worsen cancer. I also bristle — actually am infuriated — when I see that not enough funding goes toward research and that people with mets are totally forgotten.

    I’m really angry that one of my best friends died of breast cancer. Young. I’m still grieving.

    I feel angry that I feel survivor’s guilt that she died instead of me. Yet, I’m grateful to be alive.

    I’m angry that I have chronic pain from a major surgery I wish I never needed. I’m angry that I have breasts different than the ones I was born with.

    I’m angry that cancer has caused me searing emotional pain.

    For awhile I was steaming mad that the chemo caused premature menopause and stopped me from my dream of bearing a child. But now, whenever I look at my adopted daughter, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    When I was fighting to get my double mastectomy, I was flaming mad at the medical system and all the bureaucracy I had to go through.

    And that anger has been fueled into something productive. I’m writing a book on how to effectively navigate through the medical system. I want to help others avoid some of the pitfalls I had.

    1. Beth, Thanks so much for your kind words. I’m glad you agree about the importance of the message. It’s really a very positive thing in my mind that you are able to articulate specific things you were or are angry about. I think that’s very healthy! I’m sorry you have experienced such heart ache. I am also very proud of you for turning some of your anger into something so productive and helpful. I can’t wait to get my hands on your book! Any dates for when it will be available?

  19. Hi Nancy,

    Thanks for your supportive response to my ranting. You have been through enough heartache, too! That’s the thing with this disease; it causes so much grief.

    Thanks for asking about my book. I am heading toward the finish line in terms of writing it; then I’ll be seeking a publisher!

  20. Cancer has only the power that I give it. Sometimes I am angry, or sad, or fearful. The fact is, I generally don’t think about it unless I have to. I’m living. I plan to live until I die. I don’t see the point of feeling cheated or robbed. There are a lot of women in this world who have far less opportunity than I (ever read ‘Little Bee’?) I lost a year to cancer, I stumbled around for a time, sucker punched and dazed, but I’ve got a life. Many women live out their years in a misery we cannot even begin to understand. I will call myself blessed and I will live.

    1. Debby, Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You have made the choice to live your life in a really positive way. Good for you. I’m glad you acknowledge that at times you still feel angry, sad or fearful because that’s healthy in my opinion. Everyone “does cancer” differently, that’s a point I wish to emphasize. There is no one size fits all here. Thanks again for stopping by.

  21. Nancy, thank you for this post. My mom who is battling ovarian cancer is dealing with this anger now, and it helps her to see that she’s not the only one. I’ll be sharing this with her.

    1. Teri, I’m sorry your mom is dealing with ovarian cancer. How is she doing? She definitely is not alone in feeling angry and I sincerely hope this post helps her to see that. Thanks so much for commenting. My best to both of you.

  22. This may be slightly off topic but it is about anger an other emotions. I remember someone in my support group who said that since we people with cancer were bad at expressing our emotions, it was good to be doing it in a support group! That old misconception always irritated me. I don’t think people with cancer repress their emotions any more than anyone else! I know I’ve always been able to express my emotions. Yet another way to out blame on us for causing our cancer. Please let’s make sure people stop repeating this about people with cancer!

    Thanks for letting me rant

  23. I was diagnosed with breast cancer ten days after my dad died from brain cancer. I was in too much shock at the time to be angry. Then I found out I had caught my cancer very early and I was too grateful to be angry. A year and a half after diagnosis and six months after the final stage of reconstruction (I decided on bilateral with recon) I am recognizing now that I do feel angry. Angry at the unfairness of the loss of my dad, loss of my youth, and whatever remained of my innocence. That’s what it feels like. I do not dwell on it. I have three beautiful kids I dedicate my every day to right now, and I’m grateful that I can, yet I know that accepting the loss, grieving the loss, and bring angry over it will continue to show up unexpectedly. Sometimes out of nowhere these emotions will be triggered and resurface. I am tempted most if the time to push then away and not let then take time away from me, but I know that dealing with them head in is part if the healing I’ve yet to do.

    1. Laura, It’s perfectly understandable that you have many complex emotions surfacing, including feelings of anger. You’ve been dealing with a lot of things of late. It takes time to process any one of them individually, and when a person is forced to process all of them at the same time, well, it’s a lot. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time. Talk to others who understand, or want to. Pushing away feelings isn’t generally helpful. Good luck with things. You are not alone.

  24. Hello Nancy,

    I was surprised yet relieved to find your website. In a few weeks it will be a year that I was disgnosed with breast cancer.

    Although I am now cancer free, I am angry as hell. I am bitter and at times enraged at what cancer has do
    ne to my life. People seem to see me as ungrateful. I am so greatful
    to still be here but I am angry at what cancer has done to my life.

    1. Jewelene, Welcome! I’m glad you found me. There is a lot to be angry about. I know what you mean about being viewed by some as ungrateful. We are very grateful to be alive, but that doesn’t mean we must sit back and be quiet. Vent somehow. It’s healthy to let it out in some way that works for you. Writing works for me. Thanks for reading and commenting. Good luck with things.

    2. L.O.L , I recently read a blog called the “Breast Cancer Couch” by a psychologist who happens to have breast cancer and she at times referred to it as the “Fing Cancer,” F.C., or “Fecking (though she wasn’t necessarily British) Cancer. I’m sure we all could agree that any breast or other cancer is of the “f’ing” variety and I happened to get a big kick out of that blog post.

  25. Nancy,

    Since I was dx’ed with breast cancer in December, it had me feeling a mixture of being peeved and down at times in relation to the loss of my personal “bathing autonomy,” and unfairly being forced to put my reality of normalcy in the form of work, school and volunteering on hold in favor of a reality of blood tests, biopsies, medical appointments and chemo sessions. I at times dreaded the notion of how I may go down the highway to chemo hell in the sense of how the side effects may be cumulative and catch up with me with subsequent chemo rounds and found I could only hope I would continue to get lucky with being able to tolerate the subsequent rounds of chemo with seemingly no side effects. Considering how something may have been “up” with my right breast earlier in 2015, I seemed to have survived my efforts to give an “f.u.” to breast cancer by not letting it get in the way of other things I considered to matter to me such as saying good bye to CAT FANCY and DOG FANCY magazine as they were ceasing publication and “morphing” into Catster and Dogster magazine, by buying the final hurrah issues of those magazines and technically completing my “v.i.p’s” or “very important projects” of the “memory books” where I celebrated all in my life that I considered “cool.” Considering how the breast cancer is my worst enemy, I plan to in a sense get my “revenge” on it by finding the right groups of like minded people who’d “been there done that” in how they dealt with it or were STILL having to deal with it and also get it that BREAST CANCER SUCKS and seeing about joining them to advocate AGAINST breast cancer and FOR better treatments and possibly even a way to cure it.

  26. Thanks for finally talking about > It’s Okay to Feel Your Anger, Maybe Even Necessary | Nancy's Point
    < Loved it!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *