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When Bloggers Stop Blogging

Bloggers start blogging for different reasons. Bloggers stop blogging for various reasons as well. Sadly, some don’t make the choice to stop; the choice is made for them if you know what I mean. I’m guessing you do.

The nature of blogging is that it brings together folks from around the globe with similar, but at the same time very diverse, experiences, opinions, interests, goals, passions and yes, gripes.

“Disease bloggers” (sorry, couldn’t think of anything better to call us) are undoubtedly an even more tightly-knit group than many blogosphere communities for obvious reasons.

This is exactly why when fellow bloggers I’ve been following for quite some time decide to pull the plug on their blogging; I have mixed emotions about it. I feel this way when regular commenters fall away as well. I wonder sometimes what became of them. I wonder if they’re still reading and what made them decide to stop commenting. We bloggers get attached; the bonds formed are very real.

Recently Stacey, of Bringing Up Goliath fame, decided to walk away from blogging. Before that The Accidental Amazon did as well. Being Sarah and Breast Cancer Sisterhood also are no longer homes to current blog posts, though of course many of their posts are timeless. If you haven’t visited these sites, it’s worth your time to do so.

I mention these particular blogs because I started reading them way back when. There are others who’ve chosen to stop along the way as well.

I noticed that when these bloggers I mentioned made the big decision to move on, most commenters immediately jumped right in there and fully supported the decisions.

As for me, I was dragging my feet. I didn’t jump right in; I held back.

I admit it, I wasn’t entirely happy to see any of them pull away.

Of course on the one hand, I was and am thrilled for all my blogging buddies (and commenters) who decide to disengage. I truly am. I support their decisions one hundred percent and completely understand their reasons for wanting to be done for a while, or even for good.

Despite feeling thrilled, I’m also a little sad whenever I hear about such a decision – for purely selfish reasons I admit. I miss reading their posts. I miss reading their comments on mine and on posts written by others as well. I miss that interaction even though I know we’ll still keep in touch. I know we are still out there for each other.

Undoubtedly, one day I’ll be hanging up my blogger’s hat too. But for now, I’ll keep wearing it.

What motivates me to keep going? I guess that’s a post for another day.

Even though saying goodbye to favorite blogs, even temporarily, hurts a little; this is a good thing.

It hurts because we care; and if and when someone decides to blog or not to blog, the caring part doesn’t end.

And that’s the best blogging gift of all.

How do you feel when a favorite blogger of yours decides to stop blogging?

How many blogs do you read regularly?

If you blog, feel free to share your link and tell us why you started or stopped blogging.

 

 

46 thoughts to “When Bloggers Stop Blogging”

  1. The thing about the blogs you mentioned – bloggers who have stopped by choice, is that their blogs are/were largely cancer focused. I think when our blogs start out as a coping mechanism for cancer, we are eventually left with a choice: adapt or move on. So when they decided to simply move on, I couldn’t help being happy for them. It means they don’t need the coping mechanism like they once did.

    I’ve been moving further and further away from cancer on my personal blog, but then FacingCancer.ca gives me a space to still express and share when those worries come up – as it does for many people. What about you Nancy, how has your blog adapted as you’ve moved through your experience? (Certainly it’s taken on a very strong community vibe – and kudos to you for doing such a great job!) ~Catherine

    1. Catherine, You raise some good points about the evolution of the individual’s blog itself. As I mentioned, I’m always happy for others who decide to disengage too, but that doesn’t mean I’m not also disappointed and sad because I am. Thanks for your insights. I plan to write a post soon about why I keep at it, so thanks for asking. As always, your thoughts are much appreciated.

  2. Oh gosh I read many blogs. There is something in each of them that you learn about the person a little more. I began blogging through Daria, she got me started. I have been reading yours and Anne Maries & Beths’s for quite some time. As have others, I do feel sad when they leave because you hope they are alright. If they die I just feel hollow for a time. I will go back read their words as a memory. People’s words say so much about them. I don’t twitter I just don’t get it lol
    After 4 years of doing my blog I had to shut it down completely because it was hacked, used and not used in an appropriate way. I restarted but can’t seem to get it going I would like people to read. I appreciate their comments as it tells me if what I have said reaches them in a positive way….
    Thanks Nancy Continue blogging.

    Love Alli…

    1. Alli, I completely agree about the words. There’s a lot to learn from reading about the experiences of others. I’m sorry your blog was hacked and then used inappropriately. I’m sure you’ll get things back on track soon, although I certainly understand your frustration. I know what you mean about the comments. They do mean a lot don’t they? Thanks for chiming in here on this discussion, Alli.

  3. I must be reading at least a dozen BC blogs now, so just getting through my Twitter feed, with all its blog and news links, seems to take longer every day. My husband can’t understand why I’d want to be so immersed in cancer culture. But I get something out of it. New ideas, medical options, and of course support. I don’t go to in person support groups. BCSM plays that role for me.

    I blog mostly to share info efficiently with my family and friends, so many of my posts are simple updates on my treatment. But I’ve started to post glimpses into the Stage IV life, whether it’s the fear or the joy of an ordinary day. I hope that will make my blog a help to others who have been diagnosed but I’d also like to contribute to real breast cancer awareness within my circle, something I didn’t have that October when I was diagnosed,

    1. Kate, I really appreciate your posts about mets. Your voice, as well as the voices of others living with mets, is so important. My husband sometimes wonders what I’m doing too, but he’s sort of learned to go with it…ha. You might think I’d get my fill of reading about cancer stuff, but actually, I want to learn all I can, so reading a wide variety of articles as well as blogs actually helps me. It’s part of my therapy. Thanks for commenting.

  4. Well I for one am VERY glad you keep blogging — you’re one of my faves!

    This post really hit home for me. I walked away from my blog a couple years ago — and worse, did so without any real announcement. Of course, it was unplanned. I was in a dark place, post treatment, trying to make sense out of life. At that point blogging was not something I could handle…I needed to sort of crawl back into my shell for a while. It didn’t really occur to me then that people might think I had died…but of course they did. I felt sooo bad about that once I came back (still do).

    But the good news is that many of my followers are still there, they understood and are VERY supportive. I feel very blessed by the friends I’ve made in my small corner of the blogosphere, wonderful, talented people like you 🙂

    1. Kayleigh, I’m glad you took that break when you felt the need, although at the same time, I’m sorry you were in such a dark place and needed to. One of the great things about the blogosphere, is that a person is always welcomed back at any time. I’m glad you’ve picked up blogging again. And thank you for your kind words.

  5. Nancy,

    I am disappointed when bloggers choose to walk away, even though I am very happy for them. But I do understand. Being so immersed in the cancer world can take a toll on one’s psyche. People change in their priorities. Still, it hurts when they choose to move on.

    I miss these bloggers immensely.

    Truth be told, I’ve been feeling like moving on but in a different way. I don’t want my blog to focus only on cancer and its aftermath, but I want to write about other things, too. Yet I feel torn because I have helped people through my blog, as you have, too. And I feel I have tons to say still about cancer, that I haven’t even scratched the surface.

    I can’t imagine not writing. I’ll always be a writer and maybe always a blogger.

    1. Beth, I completely understand too when bloggers decide to pull back. I don’t think cancer blogs have to just focus on cancer. I like your idea of branching out. As my daughter sometimes reminds me, it’s your blog, so you can write about whatever you want. Thanks for your continued support, Beth. I appreciate it.

  6. Hi, Nancy. I’m not a blogger, so I can’t speak to the motives of those who do blog. I suspect that some breast cancer bloggers have simply concluded that the “new normal” sucks. Perhaps they’re like my wife and me and simply find it less painful to try and synthesize these challenges into a more “normal” normal. While I applaud those bloggers for finding a way to turn the page in their lives and move on, I’m grateful that bloggers like you are keeping the light on for fellow travelers who might be sharing this frightful journey. I read your posts on a daily basis and I’m continually checking out links to other bloggers. I’ve been doing this since my wife was diagnosed with IDC in March of this year. I’m here because I don’t trust the medical industry at all. I believe their motives are dubious and that whatever concern they have for genuine wellness is eclipsed by profit and politics. My distrust of the medical industry is only sharpened by the overt hyping of anything “cancer-profitable”. If it were up to me, breast cancer would be represented by the color “brown” (I’m told that’s what you get when you mix pink and green.). I follow blogs like yours because I want to help my wife as she struggles to discern the reality and propaganda that accompanies this disease. I don’t believe the greatest source of information is derived from doctors, clinical trials or medical journals. I prefer to listen to those who are living and/or dying with this disease and its treatments. I value the insights of bloggers like you because I know the only genuine way you can profit from this disease is to ultimately defeat it. I seldom submit a comment on anyone’s breast cancer blog because I don’t typically feel welcomed or entitled to. I did so on this occasion because the topic itself lended an invitation to do so. Breast cancer blogs are naturally frequented by women with breast cancer. Since I’m both a man, and a person who hasn’t been diagnosed with cancer, I feel like I can’t join these discussions without butting in. For breast cancer husbands like me, that is very problematic, especially since we often have concerns of our own as a result of a BC diagnosis (insert “another topic for another time”). My wife is my life. We were only two days away from celebrating our 38th wedding anniversary when she underwent her BMX. On that note, I fully support any decision my wife chooses to make in this journey, but I reject any notion that husbands or partners are obliged to become “don’t-care-givers” who must pretend to be unaffected by those decisions (again insert another topic for another time). Despite the “completely successful surgery” and “completely clear nodes,” the oncologist now wants to turn my wife into a chemoholic to avoid the “continual threat of recurrence”…which magically seems to disappear after 5 years…assuming you’ve survived “not getting cancer.” My wife is everything to me. I don’t want to lose her to breast cancer. I also don’t want to lose her to breast cancer treatment! I know cancer is serious business, but that’s exactly why it’s so easy to exploit. Most men enter marriage with an inherent responsibility to provide and protect. I’ve spent a long time trying to do both for my wife, but her diagnosis has rendered me utterly helpless in guarding her from this threat. So, I’m currently on a fact-finding mission to help arm her with effective knowledge about this disease and the strategies for dealing with it. I can either watch the nightly television commercials and listen to various cancer centers and law firms peddle their false promises and fear-mongering, or I can lurk around the breast cancer blogosphere for the insight that is needed to make prudent decisions. My presence here reveals the choice I’ve made. End of rant. Thank you for allowing me a voice. For your sake and ours, keep well and keep blogging.

    1. Michael, Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Your comment is so important because it shows how deeply the partner of a person who’s been diagnosed with bc life is impacted too. I’ve hesitated to write about this aspect myself… I’m sorry for all you and your wife have been forced to face of late. It’s a lot for both of you to deal and sometimes there is that feeling of helplessness a partner does feel. As for the bc industry/business, there is a lot to be skeptical about, but there’s also much to be thankful for. I try to find that balance… Thank you very much for leaving a comment. Please know your comments are always welcome. They matter. It’s nice to know spouses/partners are reading too. I really have no idea who is and sometimes I wonder if I’m “preaching to the choir”. I realize people who are not personally affected by bc are reluctant to comment as well, but the truth is, we need everybody’s voice and efforts here to get things done. So again, thank you and good luck to you and your wife ongoing.

  7. Some of us are writers regardless of what happens in our lives. We will always be writing — whether or not it’s a blog or a master’s thesis. I think of Jackie Fox, a wonderful writer on a variety of topics.

    What’s sad for me is the loss of potential breast cancer advocates. We NEED rational, anchored and intelligent voices out here to put breast cancer information in context. We need more writers who eventually can move beyond their own experience to help guide others.

    Now that my own situation has changed I’ve been grappling with how to handle my own blog. But I”m not going anywhere.

    Thanks for this,
    Jody

    1. Jody, You make a good point about the writing. I’ll be writing for as long as I keep breathing probably. How long will I be blogging? Who knows. I agree we need more advocacy, but I also believe that sharing your own story and the stories of others is a huge part of advocacy work. Some of us aren’t able to be out on the front lines of advocacy, but rather work more behind the scenes. It all matters. I know however you decide to handle your own blog, it will be a beacon to others. We will keep learning from you. Thanks for adding to this discussion, Jody.

  8. Hi Nancy

    I follow you on twitter and frequent your blog often but haven’t posted yet… I wanted to chime in with this one because it is something I have been thinking about a lot lately with my own experience with blogging about cancer.

    I have found that writing sometimes can take a lot out of me… recapping feelings and going back into story telling mode can be a bit exhausting. I would love to continue to share my story because in a lot of ways it is like therapy for me. Plus when I was first diagnosed I wanted to see blogs of woman who were years out, so I knew they were alive and well, in order to give me hope. So my goal has always been that years from now I would still blog to show other young woman who have had breast cancer that we do survive and are out there years down the road.

    But I can see how people decide to leave the blogging world. Especially one that is focused mostly on something like cancer. Something we are trying to move on from, but yet is so very much a part of our lives.

    I hope that you will continue to write and share as I hope others will too. But I will always understand why people stop. Priorities change, focuses shift… cancer might become one of those topics we eventually want to get away from years from now. I don’t know. But I know for myself, I am now 18 months post dx and JUST starting now to feel like I am somewhat moving forward… but still wanting to hold on to. If that makes any sense.

    Anyways, just wanted to add my own thoughts. Great questions to ask! Thanks for sharing.

    – Ashley

    1. Ashley, It sounds like you and I are on the same page. The writing is work. It is draining and at times exhausting. It’s also tremendously rewarding and like you mentioned, it’s hopefully helpful to others to read blogs by those with experience on this road. Everyone is different so of course, every blog is as well. We evolve, as do our goals. I completely understand why bloggers move on, but still I feel sad too. Thanks for adding your thoughts. Stop by again!

  9. Hi Nancy,
    Sometimes it’s sad when the posts stop, other times not so much…As for me, I go back and forth on the value of blogging. There are times when I like having a place to say what I want, unedited and in real-time.

    1. Elaine, It is nice to have that space to say what you want isn’t it? Although, there are still many areas I have not even touched upon! I appreciate your blog. It’s wonderful to have your unique voice as both a bc survivor and a medical professional. Thanks for all you do and thanks for commenting, Elaine.

  10. Hi Nancy,

    A sense of relief came when I got to the part in your post when you said: “Undoubtedly, one day I’ll be hanging up my blogger’s hat too. But for now, I’ll keep wearing it.” I’d be much more interested in “why” you blog than “why” you decided not to.

    1. John, I will definitely be writing a post about why I keep blogging at some point. Thanks for your kind comment. I’m not going anywhere in the near future.

  11. You raise a great question when you ask whether to blog or not because there are different reasons for blogging and I think people just have to do what’s best for them. Some people have to write because they just do and others have times in their lives when they don’t want to.

    1. Susan, You’re so right, Susan. Everyone has different interests and different goals and that’s how it should be. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  12. I think there’s often a progression from looking inward to the larger world. In a lot of cases that means the wider cancer community. But for some it’s just a wider world of their own. I enjoy watching how other people’s blogs morph over time. But when they go silent, I do miss their voices – in their own blogs as well as on mine. I hope they are all busy having fun. And since fitness is such a focus of my blog, I choose to imagine all those quiet voices laughing out loud as they ride their bicycles!

    1. Julie, There is a progression with everything in life, so of course blogs morph too. I like that word, Julie! I also like how you imagine people riding their bicycles. That made me smile. Thanks for stopping by.

  13. Thanks for writing about this. I share your sorrow when a blogger I have grown to love stops blogging, while at the same time I rejoice that they are moving on with their lives. I am fascinated by the question of why those of us who keep blogging on the topic of cancer do so. In the four years since I started my own blog I have watched it grow and change as I have watched others do the same. We have all been touched and influenced by each other in some way and our voices all add something precious to the conversation. Taken collectively we have formed a community which is why we are sad but also proud when someone flies our nest.

    1. Marie, Your comment is perfect. We are a tightly-knit community, so of course we are torn when one of us leaves the nest. My feelings are always mixed. Thanks, Marie, for chiming in here. And I hope you stay with the blogging thing. We’d be lost without you!

    1. Diane, I agree. It’s funny, I didn’t expect much of a response from this post. This is another surprise that comes with blogging. You never know which posts will get people talking and which ones won’t. Thanks for reading and taking time to comment. I know you’ve got lots going on.

  14. Nancy, if it’s a blogger I’ve been following for a while, I feel like a good friend had moved away. However, I do support that decision. Glad that you’re sticking around for awhile!

    1. Nancy, That is a wonderful analogy. Life is all about change and adapting isn’t it? Thank you for reading and commenting and yes, I plan to stick around for a while yet.

  15. I started blogging because it seemed like a way to express myself, my creativity, and dealing with mental illness. I had to get rid of my first blog due to a particularly vile troll. I actually have a creative blog (which is a team blog) and a personal blog at this point. Sometimes the personal blog seems like so much navel-contemplating, and I go back and forth with myself as to whether to keep it. Initially I thought that people with similar problems might benefit from knowing they aren’t alone, but sometimes I wonder if I’m being narcissistic or something.

    1. The Real Cie, I can’t even imagine managing more than one blog, so I’m impressed. Sorry about the vile troll on your first one. That’s too bad. I think people with similar issues do benefit from reading blogs by others who get it, so I’d say keep at it. Thanks for reading and commenting!

  16. I appreciate this post and all of the comments.I have been a writer most of my life, but have just been blogging for a little over a year. I only follow a few blogs (mainly because of time contraints), but yours is one of them. I have been truly impressed by the networking and support that are evident in the breast cancer blogging community. I encourage anyone to write about life’s experiences to help process the emotions and put things in persepctive. Some people do that in the short-term. Some of us keep doing it in the long-term. I blog about gratitude, and cancer shows up on my blog at times. I like having a blog where I can discuss cancer when I want to, and other things when I want to…all surrounding the theme of gratitude. A blogger has plenty of freedom. That’s a real bonus, and it includes the freedom to know when to step back, take a break, change focus, stop, start on a new path. Thanks Nancy!

    1. Lisa, This is a unique and tightly-knit community isn’t it? Perhaps there are others out there like it, but… I’m glad you’re part of it, Lisa. Blogs change and evolve right along with whoever is writing them. Thanks so much for taking time to read my blog. I always look forward to your insights. Thank you.

  17. Nancy, I felt sad when the bloggers you mentioned decided to stop blogging! I was happy they were able to turn the page on the BC chapter. I’m not there yet. I may never be there! Blogging, for me, is a way to process my life post-cancer. I am by nature a very private person, so I have been shocked at how non-private my BC journey has been. The contradiction is not lost on me! The best part (besides the mental health benefits) has been creating and being a part of such a strong community. I never envisioned myself an activist, but I see the need; I have to advocate for the BC community on behalf of those who cannot. Anyway, great post, I totally get how you feel, and I am grateful you are not going anywhere! xoxo

    1. Renn, I’m a very private person too! I never would have guessed necessarily that you are as well. Isn’t that interesting and yes, quite the contradiction. Sometimes I can’t believe what I’ve shared via my blog. I never envisioned myself as an activist either, but… Anyway, thanks for being part of this incredible community. Your presence is a wonderful gift to us all, and thanks for sharing here.

  18. Hi Nancy, great post and discussion. I noticed this, and even wrote about it myself in a post called Why I Write (Right) Now. I had to go back and read what I wrote then to see if I still had the same thoughts. Mostly I do, especially in that I suspect many stop because they’ve moved on from cancer. And while I know I will get to a point that cancer is not so uppermost in my mind, I also kind of hope I don’t “get over it” as so many folks in my real life suggest I need to do. I started reading blogs because I found so few fellow cancer patients who held similar views to mine, only the being young with cancer group filled that need; all the bigger breast cancer support groups were for older women, and too awash in pink. I was lucky enough to find more like-minded folks via these blogs, and started blogging myself as a way to interact by doing more than leaving comments. I’ve always thought if some of my view askew style of grousing about cancer is helpful to a newly diagnosed breast cancer patient, that’s good. I wish I’d found these blogs while I was in treatment so I would not have spent time thinking I was the only one with anti-pink thoughts, but better late than never. I’m always bummed when the one behind a blog that helped me immensely, like Accidental Amazon, stops.
    At this point, blogging for me is a coping mechanism, but only partly in regards to cancer, some of it is healing from other negative life experiences, some of which are alluded to in various other posts of mine. Unlike some other bloggers I read, I do not blog to get info out to family and friends, in fact very few I know IRL know that I do this, for a variety of reasons, and I prefer it this way. My posts will probably always be somewhat cancer-centric, with a heavy dose of geeky, pop-culture obsession thrown in, because that is still who I am, the very real me, and cancer did not take that away from me (although in a recent post I ponder if maybe it would’ve been good if cancer had erased some bad memories, like fake rapper Vanilla Ice, from my mind).
    My life circumstances are always in flux, which is why I post irregularly, and which I fear will eventually cause me to cease blogging, although I will try to keep that from happening. Since I am a self-professed curmudgeon, my guess is that I will always find something to fuss about in breast cancer issues, so it is safe to say I’ll be doing it for the foreseeable future.

    1. Cancer Curmudgeon, I blog for some of the same reason you mentioned. I will probably write a post on why I keep at it at some point. I don’t and never have written posts for the purpose of updating family members either. I’m not even sure how many family members read my blog, especially now at this point. I do know, writing is very therapeutic for me personally and I hope things I say help others from time to time. As for your blog, I say keep on fussing! We need your edgy voice. Thanks so much for adding to this discussion. It’s been interesting and a bit of a surprise to me.

  19. Hi, I read Renn’s blog The Big C and Me… she recommended this post and I was curious to see another persons take on this.

    I started blogging to give myself a voice after my ex husband raped me in 2008… I was lost and angry and a whole lot of things I didn’t like. Writing helped me to get through it.

    I miss when bloggers that I love decided not to blog, I understand why… I still miss them though.

    I follow well over 100 blogs… not everyone blogs daily or I wouldn’t be able to keep up… lol

    I comment on almost all of them, unless I only have time to read due to time constraints…

    I think I will blog for many years to come but who knows… 🙂

    1. Lauuna, Gosh, I’m so sorry about your horrible experience. I’m glad blogging has helped you regain your footing. And my goodness, you do follow a lot of blogs! I’ve never counted how many I read regularly. Maybe I should! I will definitely give yours a visit. Thanks for reading mine and taking time to comment. Hi to Renn! Her blog is awesome.

  20. I just have to say, Thank Goodness for Facebook! I follow blogs via FB and make friends beyond the blog, so I don’t lose people completely if they stop blogging.

    I love the presence that you have in the community, Nancy. You’re like the big sister of bloggers to me. 😉 -shelli

    1. Shelli, I know we can still stay in touch through other venues, but for me it’s just not quite the same. Still, I’m happy for those who decide to discontinue for whatever reasons. And thanks, Shelli, for the kind words.

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