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Feeling Certain About Uncertainty - What keeps you hopeful? #advocacy #news #pandemic #covid19 #cancer #mentalhealth #coping

Feeling Certain About Uncertainty

There doesn’t seem to be much we can all agree on these days, but most of us are likely feeling pretty darn certain that uncertainty will be continuing for the foreseeable future.

I’m feeling certain about uncertainty.

No doubt you are too, right?

A lot of stuff is going to be in limbo for quite some time. We just do not know for sure yet when the kids can safely head back to school or when churches can fill up all the pews again. Families will likely be uneasy for who knows how long about holding gatherings or hosting weddings or sadly, even funerals.

We wonder when we can return to the office or if we’ll even have a job to return to and for how long. It’s hard to say when we’ll be able to head to our favorite movie theater (I’m trying to remember the last movie I saw at my local theater) or again patronize a restaurant we love and actually eat inside without worrying about the people’s health status at the table next to us.

The list of unknowns goes on and on.

In addition, there is social unrest going on across the country due to police violence, lack of accountability and systemic racism that has continued for far too long in every aspect of our society. Things need to change. Things must change. But when will that change happen, how will it happen and how long will it take?

Yep. We’re feeling certain about uncertainty alright, or at least I am.

If you’re a person who likes to feel in charge about what tomorrow will likely bring (and who isn’t?), all this uncertainty is just plain hard. It’s tough to plan for tomorrow or next week much less next month or next year.

There’s been lots of talk about a ‘new normal’ post pandemic. It’s coming, or maybe it’s already here. We won’t be going back to the way things were. We just won’t be.

Just like with cancer.

The term ‘new normal’ that gets tossed around post-cancer diagnosis has never worked for me, rather it’s always sorta irked me.

You might want to read, Life Under the ‘New Normal’ Umbrella.

Perhaps one reason it hasn’t and still doesn’t is because it reminds me of what once was. Same deal with the survivor label. Both labels bring to mind feelings of loss, sadness and yes, grief.

You might want to read, What’s Wrong with a Survivor Badge Anyway?

Once normal is gone, it’s gone. New normal? What does that even mean? Can we really create a new normal? (I’m just asking.)

Still, Cancer Havers are pretty adept at adjusting and adapting. They have to be. When you’re diagnosed, things change on a dime. Your personal domino effect is set in motion.

You say goodbye to the familiar. You say goodbye to any notion you might’ve had about your own perceived good health and for some of us, you say goodbye to actual body parts. You say hello to upheaval, harsh treatments and yes, uncertainty. So much uncertainty.

Post-pandemic life will likely have some of the same elements. There will be goodbyes to the familiar. For sure, we will be reminded of what we once had. There will be loss, sadness and grief involved then too.

The good news is (yes, there is good news!), we’ll deal with it. We’ll cope. We’ll adapt. We’ll adjust. We’ll do what we must. Because we’ll have to. (Just like with cancer.)

After all, we humans are resilient. Cancer Havers are living proof of that resilience.

But cancer or no cancer, we all are.

Resiliency is perhaps our greatest strength; it’s definitely one of them anyway. It helps carry us through whatever challenge—present, past or future that we face, have faced or will face.

Remembering how resilient we are helps me stay hopeful.

When this pandemic ends, we won’t merely move on; it isn’t quite that simple. (Just like with cancer.) We will move forward (big difference) as best we can.

About the latter at least, I am feeling quite certain.

(Note: Cancer Havers term credit goes to Sylvie Leotin.)

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What is something you’re feeling uncertain about?

How do you cope with uncertainty?

What gives you hope in times of uncertainty?

Feeling Certain About Uncertainty #covid19 #pandemic #cancer #breastcancer #coping #emotions #inthenews #advocacy

10 thoughts to “Feeling Certain About Uncertainty”

  1. I don’t know quite where to start, but between the coronavirus, the terrible problem with bad cops when the majority of them are good, including my own son, the upcoming election, yuck, and the fact that I’m facing 2 surgeries, one on my hand and one to remove my implants, I am feeling over the top overwhelmed. Add to that some family issues that have required doing some grandchildren watching. All that helps right now is to sit out on my porch or push the lawn mower around for an hr or so. Any other ideas are welcome!

    1. Donna, I think most people realize the majority of cops are indeed good and working hard to protect us every day. I don’t have the answers, but I do know there must be accountability for bad behavior – whether you’re talking about cops or anyone else. I’m sure it’s an especially trying time for people like yourself who have loved ones serving as police officers. And I’m sorry you’re now facing not one, but two upcoming surgeries. No wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed. And yeah, that election – actually it can’t come fast enough for me. I’m also noticing no more mention of people who are still dying from covid. What happened to the tally counter on our TV screens? I think that should still be there. It seems we have become numb to that. Wish I could join you on your porch for some commiserating! Good luck dealing with all your “stuff”. Thanks for sharing.

      1. Thank you Nancy. I know you’re dealing with some health issues yourself and I think of you often. We’ll all get through this crazy changing world together!

  2. A wonderful post, again. Long ago when I complained about not having control of a situation, a psychologist tell me that there was no such thing as having control. That and resiliency have gotten me through a lot. My daughter-in-law was having a miscarriage which began the day before her family came to visit us in California. I asked if she wanted to cancel Disneyland and she said, no, and trudged through that very crowded park without one complaint even though she was hurting. She did it determined to see her 3 year old’s face when she spotted things there. I mentioned how much I admired her fortitude to my husband and he agreed and then said, “But that’s how you’ve been with all this cancer stuff.” Now up until then I’d thought that I was pretty whiny about the whole thing! But his answer gave me pause. Now I work on trying to carry on despite some of the weirdness, pain, problems of cancer. And while I hate what our country is going through right now, I know that I have no control other than to be supportive of those in need and to continue to pray.

    1. Linda, Well, for sure, we have lots less control than we think we have. That’s so sad about your daughter-in-law and yes, that was a lot of fortitude she showed when forging ahead with the Disneyland trip, although, I’m sure it would’ve been fine with the rest of you had she not. Moms do go to extraordinary lengths sometimes. You, are in fact, doing that yourself as I’m sure you’ve tried to protect your adult children now and then. We all have to be supportive of those in need in any way that we can. Thank you for reading and commenting too.

  3. Oh yes, great post! I remember when the coronavirus restrictions all started. In the cancer community it was kind of like – “this is already our life, nothing changes”! Just like with cancer we all just have to learn to deal with the “new normal”, whatever that turns out to be.

    1. Josie, We all do and will do what we must. Just like with cancer. I’m just not going to refer to any of it as the ‘new normal’.

  4. Thank you for your thoughts on uncertainty, a daily reality for us cancer survivors. It’s almost like the events of this year do not represent a new challenge, just a different one. I appreciate your reminder that we are resilient and know how to embrace life after loss. The best to you!

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