Many people couldn’t wait to say goodbye to 2016. It was a rough year for various reasons, and I kept reading and hearing how lots of people could not wait to move forward into the New Year. Bring on 2017, they said and wrote. 2016 was hard. Too many losses. Too much heartache. Just too much.
Was 2016 worse than other years as far as losses and heartache go?
Maybe. Maybe not. For sure, there were a lot of losses as cultural icons go. A lot. David Bowie. Alan Rickman. Prince. Gene Wilder. Gary Shandling. Patty Duke. Muhammad Ali. And of course, recently Carrie Fisher and her mom, Debbie Reynolds. These are just a few that come to mind off the top of my head as I write this post.
In Cancer Land there were far too many losses as well. I won’t name names for fear I might inadvertently leave someone special out, but I must mention my friend Jody. Sometimes I still cannot believe she’s gone.
Too many losses. Just too many.
And there was a certain election. I’m still not coping well with how that turned out; mostly I’ve just tuned out. At times I feel guilty about doing this, but I also realize I’ve been in some sort of self-preservation mode, and this is okay. For now.
And then there was my dad…
For me, 2016 will always be the year that “took” my dad.
Except for a certain wedding, 2016 sucked.
Despite the harshness of 2016, I still had mixed feelings about saying goodbye.
I was in no hurry to swap out my calendars and welcome in 2017.
Saying goodbye to 2016 somehow felt like I was saying goodbye to my dad again as well. Putting more time, more days, more months between today and the day of his death felt like I was distancing myself from him. Literally.
Of course, I know there is no logic to this thinking. No amount of time could ever do that. Nothing could.
But grief isn’t something one can always make sense of.
Grief does not follow logic.
Grief is grief.
You just just muddle through it somehow.
So while I am excited to see what the New Year brings, I have also been feeling a little blue about the fanfare of welcoming in the New Year.
Years come and years go. Good years. Not so good years. It matters not. Time marches on reminding us of our smallness and brevity.
Luckily, love and fond memories are forever.
Treasures for my heart indeed.
So yes, goodbye 2016. Good riddance.
Bring it on.
I guess I’m ready after all.
Are you feeling ready to face the New Year? Why or why not?
What’s something you’re looking forward to this year?
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