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Random Thoughts for Mother’s Day 2019

The other day when I was shopping for a card to give Best Mother-in-Law Ever, I thought about how lucky I am to still have someone to get a card for this Mother’s Day.

One of the next thoughts I had while sifting through cards and ruling most of them out because they said dumb things was, is it just me, or is it harder to find appropriate cards these days (for any occasion)?

A lot of random thoughts have been popping into my head as I contemplated what I might write about this Mother’s Day, or if I should write about anything at all. I decided, okay, I’ll just go with random.

(Blogging tip: when in doubt, go with random thoughts about the subject of your choosing.)

So, here are 13 random thoughts for Mother’s Day 2019.

1. As you might know, my mother died eleven years ago from metastatic breast cancer.

She’s been gone dead for a decent chunk of time now, a fact that in some ways, is still startling, saddening (is that a word?), upsetting and even after eleven years, still hard to completely fathom.

2. Sometimes I just want to hear my mother’s voice again.

Though I remember so much about my mother, I’m sad I now have to stop and think about what her voice sounded like. I worry I’ve forgotten.

Shouldn’t a good daughter be able to remember the sound of her mother’s voice without having to think so hard about it?

I wish I had more recordings of that first voice I ever heard and will never hear again.

3. Like most relationships, mother/daughter relationships are complex.

The relationship I had with my mother was complex too, but luckily, it was mostly good. Really good. I’m grateful for that this Mother’s Day and every other day of the year too.

4. Sometimes it really pisses me off that my mother wasn’t around for my breast cancer diagnosis and all its aftermath.

I know it would’ve been hard for her to witness all the chaos. But OMG, we could’ve had some amazing conversations, which I’m sure would’ve included a lots of commiserating, ranting and likely a bit of cussing too.

5. I try really hard not to compare my cancer experience to my mother’s.

Most of the time, I’m successful. But not all the time.

6. Even now, after eleven years, I often find myself thinking, I wonder what Mother would think.

This often happens when I finish a book, see a movie, plant a flower, bake something using one of her recipes and yes, when I know my house is a wreck, which is fairly often these days. (Hers never was, or so it seemed.)

And of course, I wonder what she’d think about me writing about her in blog posts (like this one) and in my books.

7. Pastors, priests, rabbis and other clergy should stop and think about the pain they perhaps unknowingly inflict on some when they ask mothers to stand up for acknowledgement on Mother’s Day, give out flowers or whatever they do to mark the day.

After all, some among us are not mothers yet long to be mothers, have recently lost mothers, have hurtful memories about mothers, were once mothers but no longer are mothers, have no interest in being mothers yet feel pressured to be mothers, or whatever the case might be.

Might there be a better way?

Like just no standing?

You might want to read, When Mother’s Day Hurts.

8. I don’t have a lot of regrets regarding my mother, but I have a few. I’ll share about them some day. Maybe.

9. I am incredibly lucky to be a mother to three wonderful children.

Sure, they’re adults now, but they’ll always be my kiddos. Motherhood isn’t easy, but it’s always a blessing. At least it has been for me. Grateful is what I am for each of them this Mother’s Day.

10. I am now a mother-in-law x 3.

This is a new, interesting and fun role for me.

11. I am also now of a certain age when people ask, do you have any grandchildren yet?

Interesting, the assumptions people make based on your age, appearance or whatever. So far, I always just smile and say, yes, four furry ones.

12. It intrigues me to think about the lives our mothers led before they were mothers. What about you?

Hence, this post from last year, Our Mothers Before They Were Mothers.

13. All these made up, Hallmark holidays are sort of lame.

I mean, do we really need designated days to recognize our moms, dads, grandparents or whomever or whatever?

On the other hand, perhaps it’s a good thing to mark our calendars with days like these.

And so…

Happy Mother’s Day to women everywhere who love and nurture children!

If the day is a painful one for you, I’m sorry.

May it help to know you’re not alone and that others understand, or try to.

Share something about YOUR mother, grandmother or other special woman who’s had an impact on your life.

If you have a painful memory about Mother’s Day, you’re welcome to share about that too.

Share anything at all about Mother’s Day or motherhood (or shopping for cards these days).

To read more articles like this, CLICK HERE! Keeping it real. Support you can use.

13 Random Thoughts this Mother's Day #mothers #family #MothersDay #holidays


Wednesday 8th of May 2019

I am sorry for the people who don't have their moms around on Mother's Day or their dads around on Father's Day. (Or any of the examples you mentioned.)

I think Mother's Day and Father's Day have become silly holidays used for marketing (like Valentine's Day). I work in marketing and these are just excuses to have a sale or run a promotion.

It's great if people want to take the time to do something special on those days. However, some people put unfair expectations on their family members to do something special or to buy them something. And then they end up being disappointed because of course when you have such high expectations they can never be met.

Basically I'm not a big fan of these types of holidays! Haha.


Thursday 9th of May 2019

Lindsay, Yeah, many of these days have become more about marketing and sales than anything else. Designated days to show love and appreciation shouldn't be necessary in a perfect world. Some people love these sorts of days and others, not so much. Thank you for sharing where you stand, though I already knew. Ha. You are a wonderful daughter/granddaughter every day and for that (among other things) I'm grateful. Thank you for sharing.

Abigail Johnston

Wednesday 8th of May 2019

When I was struggling with infertility, Mother’s day was incredibly painful. After becoming a mother, I look at it very differently but I still wonder about those women still struggling. I think it’s often overdone and it has become so commercialized that the heartfelt meaning behind it is sometimes lost. I’ve tried to make sure that there are plenty of memories and recordings made of me and my children for when I’m gone. Thank you for your vulnerability and raw honesty in your post. ❤️


Thursday 9th of May 2019

Abigail, I read your post about infertility struggles; it was so good. It's such a deeply personal, emotional topic every day of the year, but Mother's Day puts it in a whole different realm. I agree that the day is often overdone, as are many of the Hallmark days, I suppose. It's wonderful you are making all those memories and recordings for your sons, but I'm so sorry this is something you feel compelled to do because of your mbc diagnosis. Thank you for reading and taking to share too. Hope you have a lovely Mother's Day.

Donna Funkhouser

Wednesday 8th of May 2019

Wow! I have so many thoughts going through my mind right now. First of all, I'm very grateful to be be the mother of 5 and grandmother of 7. They and my husband are my world. Mother's Day is very hard on my sister who had one son who was killed in a horrible auto accident at the age of 26. My heart breaks for her. In your blog, #7 brought back a not so great memory. In our old church, their tradition was to hand out red roses to those whose mother was still living. The yr my mom died I was handed a white rose and I just looked at it and was told that it was because I no longer had a mother. I threw it in the trash. I was so hurt. So I agree with you that maybe some of those long held traditions, like standing up, should be put to rest. I think that we as women are naturally nuturing to someone or something. ..a pet, a neighbor, a flower garden. Whatever brings you joy. Happy Mother's Day to all of us!


Thursday 9th of May 2019

Donna, I'm very sorry your nephew was killed in that accident. Heartbreaking indeed. I write about my cousin dying in an auto accident in my memoir. Those memories are seared into my mind, especially the look on my dear aunt's face. Thank you for sharing your memory regarding #7. I think it's really important to remember that for some, Mother's Day is painful. You throwing that white rose in the trash illustrates how that good-intended gesture actually made you feel. I'm glad you have a wonderful family and I wish you a happy Mother's Day, Donna. Thank you for taking time to comment.

Donna Funkhouser

Wednesday 8th of May 2019

Meant to say someone or something. ..a pet, a neighbor, a flower garden. Whatever brings you joy.

Linda C. Boberg

Wednesday 8th of May 2019

My mom died 8 years ago of heart disease. . . I think. She was a non-compliant patient and had lots wrong. Sigh. I can relate. But unlike you, Nancy, I am glad that my mom is not here to hear about my cancer problems. Many of her statements concerning that disease linger with me, like "once they open up your (fill in the blanks as to which part of the body), it grows and you die." Or "they opened her up, saw that there was nothing they could do, sent her home to die." I realize that things have changed, but I shudder to think about what she might think about me, or how she would worry. Because the one gene she totally gave me was The Worry Gene. That said, the rest are definitely thoughts good for Mother's Day. I hope yours is great!


Thursday 9th of May 2019

Linda, My situation is a little different as both my mother and I were diagnosed with bc. So, there are times I'd sure like to talk with her about all of it. I know she wanted to talk about her cancer more than we "allowed" her to, so I think we could've had some incredible conversations about our cancer experiences, but that wasn't meant to be. Then again, there are times when I'm so glad she hasn't been around to see any of it. I know how hard it would've been for her. I understand how you are glad yours is not here to hear about your cancer problems. And yes, those comments...I'm sure they do linger. The worry gene - I think many of us have been given that gene by our mothers! Happy Mother's Day. Hope yours is great too.


Wednesday 8th of May 2019

My mother is 90. Her voice has changed. Weak and whispery, not the commanding, challenging, tone filled voice of my childhood. So which sound of her voice will u recall later? Perhaps neither, as my post chemo memory 'ain't so great ' .... However many of her expressions and phrases will be what I recall.


Thursday 9th of May 2019

Julie, Thank you for sharing about your mother. I'm sure you'll have many good memories to recall regardless which voice you remember best. It feels strange that the sound of my mother's voice isn't something I clearly remember these days, but gosh, I sure remember gazillions of conversations and things she said during them. I guess that is what matters most.

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