When the life of a dear pet nears its end, you often hear it said that you will know when it’s time. You will know when it’s time to do the right thing. You will know when it’s time to let them go. You will know when it’s time to euthanize. I’m not so sure this is always true.
Sometimes it’s a tough call. Sometimes you have to make the tough decision even when you don’t know for sure if, in fact, it’s time. Sometimes you just have to do the best you can. Sometimes there aren’t clear-cut answers. Death doesn’t work that way.
When you think about it, it’s a very big responsibility making life and death decisions for another living creature in your care.
Last week Dear Hubby and I made the tough decision to euthanize our dear old dog, Elsie. It was hard. Very hard. But we chose to be Elsie’s advocate, to make the call as best we could, and to be with her at the end.
We are grateful we had an extra six weeks with Elsie following her leukemia diagnosis.
But letting go was still hard. It always is.
Sometimes, I think about my life in dog chunks, a timeline of dog lives intertwined with mine. There has always been at least one dog in my life, so of course, by the time you get to be my age, this adds up to be a fair number of dogs.
Pets come into our lives and then leave, too soon, of course. Time with pets is limited, but we willingly give our hearts to them anyway. It’s worth it. The joy outweighs the inconvenience. The joy outweighs the exasperation. The joy outweighs the heartache.
We got to have Elsie for twelve years. Twelve years is a good amount of living for a dog, a fair amount, I suppose; but still, I wanted more.
A lot happens in a person’s life in twelve years, in the lifetime of a dog.
In the twelve years with Elsie, various members of my family experienced a gazillion different things; things like middle school, high school, college, job losses, new jobs, selling a house, buying a house, relocation, vacations, graduations, weddings, births, and of course, cancer and yes, deaths of loved ones.
And through it all, Elsie was there, and she was so much more than just a family pet.
Right to the end, Elsie took her duties very seriously. Goldens are like that. They have a fun-loving playful side, of course, but they never for a minute forget their primary role in life – looking after their humans. I have known, have loved and have been loved by many kinds of dogs; but there is nothing quite like the devotion of a golden.
During the last six weeks or so, I have been thinking a lot about why Elsie and all pets that come into our lives are so special and why it’s so hard to let them go.
There are many reasons of course. But perhaps primarily it’s because our pets truly enjoy our company, no matter what our mood or what is going on in our lives. Pets live in the moment. And the best moments for them seem to be the moments they get to spend with us.
No matter how deeply you are loved by the people in your life, do any of them enjoy your company all the time?
Probably not.
Pets seem to. Or at least Elsie did.
No wonder we love our pets so much. No wonder I loved Elsie so much.
One thing I have learned as a result of having pets all my life is that it’s okay to grieve for them when they die. Grieving for a pet is real grief too. And there is no shame in grieving for a much-loved pet.
In fact, it’s a beautiful thing to grieve deeply for a pet because, of course, it means the bond you shared was something special.
Elsie is gone now, but she will never be forgotten. Among other things, she was my grief companion. She was my cancer companion. She was my eye witness and secret keeper, and I loved her. I always will.
Goodbye, Elsie. You were a good girl. A very good girl indeed.
Judith Coloma
Wednesday 18th of December 2024
My husband and I just said the big good bye to our beloved Westie, Bender. Bender was almost 13 and had developed a yeast skin condition that we had been treating for 2 years. In October his groomer couldn't use the scissors or trimmer due to his skin pain. The medications, special shampoo,and special diet weren't working anymore. Bender's lovely white was scratched and chewed by the roots. He became sensitive to cuddles and also gave off a sour and yeasty smell. Bender still loved his food and still stroked us in the morning to make us wake up. He still followed my husband around the house.
My son was with him till the end.
Carole
Tuesday 16th of July 2024
Dear Friend, We too have an 11year old Golden who is aging fast. We got Sparky when he was 7weeks old and he is a very special part of the family . We are NOT looking forward to the loss of Sparky but we know it is coming. Yes, we will grieve much at the loss but we have so very many wonderful memories and he will live on in our hearts forever.We are ever so grateful to have Sparky in our life.He live on forever in our heats and memories. Thank you for the great story, loved it. C from Ohio
Nancy Stordahl
Tuesday 20th of August 2024
@Carole, Thank you so much for your kind words about my story. We miss Elsie so much, but luckily, we have a lot of wonderful memories to always cherish.
Your sparky sounds very special indeed. Enjoy all the moments, days, weeks, months, and hopefully years you still have together. Give him a pat on the head from me. Goldens are truly special members of our families.
Thank you for reading and sharing about Sparky. Sorry to take so long responding. I've been having some technical issues.
Rob
Thursday 3rd of August 2023
Well said
Nancy
Thursday 3rd of August 2023
Rob, Thank you.
Kay Deakin
Wednesday 30th of December 2020
Our golden retreiver Murphy was put to sleep on october9th this year he was 12 years old he had hemangiosarcoma and lived 7 weeks after being diagnosed its a heartbreaking cancer his tomour was in his heart surgery was impossible we ate devastated love him and miss him so much
Nancy
Wednesday 30th of December 2020
Kay, I am sorry about Murphy. It's so hard. I hope it helps just a bit knowing others understand your pain. We're missing our sweet Sophie. Our golden retriever Elsie is still dearly missed as well.
Jeffrey Neurman
Friday 16th of August 2019
I was so moved. As you know, I am also a Golden lover. And I too have had to endure the pain of losing one (to cancer no less). I think you summed it up beautifully when you stated, “but there is nothing quite like the devotion of a golden.”
Nancy
Monday 19th of August 2019
Jeffrey, I'm glad the post moved you. It's nice to know you get it.