Recently, I stumbled upon a blog post with this title, “Breast Reconstruction Makes Breast Cancer Patients Whole Again After Mastectomy.”
What?
This particular choice of words immediately made me bristle. In fact, I found them down right irritating.
Why?
It’s the definitive nature of the statement that annoys, no offends me.
Breast reconstruction makes breast cancer patients whole again after mastectomy.
It doesn’t say breast reconstruction might help make you feel better about yourself. It doesn’t say it might make you feel whole again.
No, it says, breast reconstruction makes breast cancer patients whole again. Hmm.
I couldn’t get the statement out of my head. That’s usually a sign a blog post is percolating.
This is when having your own blog comes in handy.
This particular title was on a plastic surgery website, so maybe it’s not all that surprising, but yet…
I applaud them for trying to educate women about the process of reconstruction and the options available to them. This is a good thing. However, making implied judgments about the decision is over-stepping.
With or without breasts, women are whole — either way they are complete human beings.
A woman who chooses not to have breast reconstruction is not any less whole.
The fact that I did choose breast reconstruction does not make me whole either.
Somehow, this all ties in with part of the reason I don’t care much for the tactics of various breast cancer awareness organizations like Feel Your Boobies, Save the TaTas and Second Base.
They feed into this notion about femininity (and wholeness) being embodied primarily by a woman’s body parts, specifically her breasts.
Even if unintended, that message is in there.
But this post is not about those organizations.
Again, I spotted this particular title on a website that should know better. This was a professional website geared to helping women who are balancing facts, opinions and harsh realities while trying to make life-changing decisions.
Whoever penned this title should have chosen their words more carefully.
I know they meant well. I understand their point. I chose breast reconstruction myself. I get it. But still…
There are many reasons a woman chooses to do or not to do breast reconstruction.
A woman is whole no matter what route she takes.
How we say things matters.
It’s just that simple.
Words matter.
You might want to read, The Sum of All My Parts.
Has someone’s choice of words regarding cancer offended, annoyed or angered you?
Words Matter.
Marsha
Monday 5th of February 2024
The reason we use the word “battle” is because that’s what it is! Or maybe it’s war. If you watch a person day in day out fight for oxygen or strength to walk because cancer is outpacing the treatment, you will understand the fight for life, the hope each morning that you feel better, a resemblance of what you used to feel like before the beast hood of cancer ravaged your body. I watched my brother take on cancer and fight every minute of every day for the life he didn’t want to loose. I take offense to you not understanding battling for your life. If a person is diagnosed with an aggressive cancer, it is a fight for survival. Dying to the disease, doesn’t make you a “L”, but a victim. Maybe some people don’t fight as hard or they surrender to cancer, but my brother fought it head on. He made his body stand up to it like a Warrior. He's a hero, but unfortunately,the treatment failed him and he lost his wonderful life. However, he gave it all he had every min of every day.
P.S. possibly another language isn’t available because there is none that can describe what a person is going thru every minute when sick. Cancer survivors or non-survivors fought the battle of a lifetime. I would call them champions
Nancy
Monday 5th of February 2024
Marsha, I am so sorry about your brother. I have watched someone I love struggle to stay alive - my mother. I stand by my words regarding battle talk. And it's more the "lost the battle" phrase that irks me, but I'm not a fan of the war metaphors in general. It's fine we disagree on words. I respect your opinions. Perhaps you'd like to read this article for further clarification on my viewpoint. https://nancyspoint.com/stating-a-person-lost-herhis-battle-with-cancer-is-insulting/ Thank you for sharing and again, I'm sorry your brother died from cancer.
Cancer "language" needs updating - Cancer Survivorship
Sunday 23rd of June 2019
[…] Words can mean a lot. […]
Do We Have to be PC When it Comes to BC? | Amoena Lifelines
Wednesday 3rd of June 2015
[…] read a piece recently where a woman was talking about how insensitive an ad for reconstruction was because it […]
Leaving Las Vegas « cancerfree2b
Tuesday 9th of August 2011
[...] recently taken on this topic in her blog. And another favorite blog of mine, Nancy’s Point. addresses wholeness after breast cancer (with or without reconstruction). And a few years ago, [...]
The Surgery Which Must Not Be Named | Chemobabe!
Sunday 7th of August 2011
[...] I have spoken with enough women who have made different choices to get a sense of the trade-offs. I have no illusion of “becoming whole again.” [...]