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What kind of advocate are you?

What kind of advocate are you?

Since it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month again (yawn), it seems like a good time to talk about advocacy in general.

Any type of serious illness or other trauma can make a person want to “do” something with the experience. This comes from a feeling of wanting to help others who are, or will be, facing a similar diagnosis or experience. It’s a giving back sort of thing. It gives purpose to what you’ve had to deal with.

Some people start blogs, others set up or join support groups and other organizations, some create new online spaces, some write books, some run in races or organize other events to raise money. Some start traveling attending seminars and conventions, some start podcasts (does it seem like everybody has one these days?). Some begin speaking publicly about their experiences, and the list goes on.

Advocacy in Breast Cancer Land looks different for everyone.

I’m here to tell you that all the above sort of advocacy is wonderful and sorely needed. I’m also here to tell you that it’s okay to not put pressure on yourself to participate in, or to do something big post diagnosis — whatever that even means.

You might want to read: The Pressure to Be an Over-Achieving Cancer Patient.

There was a time, and not that long ago, when I felt pretty darn inadequate as an advocate in Cancer Land. I mean, I wasn’t traveling around the country attending conventions or getting special advocate training to refine my advocacy skills. I wasn’t reading up on the latest scientific findings. And yes, I felt like I wasn’t doing enough.

So, I forced myself out of my comfort zone and attended a Living Beyond Breast Cancer convention a few years back. I was asked to attend and be part of a panel of bloggers.

How could I have said no to that?

Plus, the travel expenses were paid for. That was huge. Advocates deserve compensation, too, in addition to having their travel expenses paid for, I might add. But that’s a different post.

It was stressful for me to get on that plane and find myself in an unfamiliar airport, city, and surroundings. But I did it. I navigated fine. Being on the panel was fun. Sort of.

But guess what?

Once was enough. After that, I decided no more. That kind of thing just wasn’t/isn’t for me.

This introvert prefers to stay home. She prefers to advocate from her keyboard. That’s the way I like it, so that’s what I do.

After that experience, I decided what I’m doing is okay. In fact, it’s totally fine. Everyone does not have to be a stellar, traveling, all-star sort of advocate — whatever that even means.

YOU get to decide what sort of advocacy role, if any, you want to take on in Cancer Land.

This can be as simple as having a conversation with your neighbor or a stranger at the grocery store. (Pinktober sometimes presents opportunities like this.)

All kinds of advocacy matters. Yes, all kinds!

Taking this further still — you don’t necessarily have to become a breast cancer related sort of advocate at all.

What??

It’s true.

Maybe being an advocate in Cancer Land isn’t for you at all. That’s fine! After all, it can be draining — both physically and emotionally. And, let’s not forget, financially. You might be sick and tired of dealing with your diagnosis and all the self-advocacy that requires, which is a lot and way more than enough to tackle.

Perhaps you want to become an advocate for animal welfare instead. Or children. Or sensible gun-safety reform. Or, dare I say it, for a politician or political party you support.

The point is, there is a lot of need out there. There are many causes. There is a role for you out there in Advocacy World if you want one.

Never feel badly or put yourself down for not “doing enough” in Cancer Land. (‘ll try to remember this too.) Besides, living your best life is no small thing.

But remember this too: Your story matters. Your voice matters. Your place in the world matters. YOU matter.

Of course, others matter, too, and helping others in big OR small ways is also important.

There are many niches out there with advocacy openings. There’s always work that needs doing.

The advocacy lane you choose is up to you.

I hope you find one that feels right for you, whether it be in Breast Cancer Land or not.

Have you ever felt like you weren’t/aren’t doing enough advocacy-wise in Cancer Land?

What sort of advocate do you consider yourself to be?

Is there another advocacy niche you are involved with other than, or in addition to, Cancer Land?

What does #breastcancer #advocacy mean to YOU? #breastcancerawarenessmonth #pinktober

Note from Nancy: I wrote about cancer language, cancer worry, survivor guilt, loss, pet grief, COVID-19, DIEP flap surgery, life as an introvert, aging, resiliency, and more in EMERGING. Available at Amazon and most other online booksellers. It’d mean a lot to me if you’d consider reading it.

How do you even start to emerge from a cancer diagnosis, loss, the pandemic, or any trauma? #cancer #grief #petloss #pandemic #trauma #womenshealth #familyrelationships

Click on the above image to order your copy of EMERGING today!

Nancy’s Point has moved to Substack. I’d love to connect with you there! Subscribe below and never miss my new articles and announcements. Thank you for considering.

Jennifer

Monday 13th of November 2023

Hi Nancy,

As I am writing this silent tears are running down my face. I have been really sick the last few days and have really not felt this bad since my treatment 12 years ago, so I think that is why I am so emotional. Although I still have side effects that, like many of us still have, I really don’t think too much about cancer but after reading your posts I realize that I really do need some sort of support group that understands how it feels to not be able to have children because of treatment, or all of a sudden have thyroid problems right after chemo, or to have severe osteoarthritis at the age of 51, yada, yada, yada… So, thank you for your non-judgmental, real talk about bc. Because cancer sucks!

Nancy

Thursday 16th of November 2023

Jennifer, I'm sorry the article made you cry. And, I'm sorry you have not been feeling well. Emotions surface and resurface post diagnosis on an ongoing basis. It's good to let yourself sit with them and let them flow through you. I hope you can find a support group. Loss of fertility, or just the timing and ability to have children due to other reasons, is a huge loss and one that's not discussed enough even today. You deserve support for all that. Follow-up support is critical. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts.

Nancy Corrigan

Tuesday 10th of October 2023

Dear Nancy, I am a 56 years old, and currently have metastatic breast cancer, with Bone and Liver Mets. This is my third and final rodeo with cancer. I write to thank you for your writings, which have helped me process my experience "transitioning" to MBC. You have found the words, which had escaped me, to describe the role of social media and Pinktober in the evolution of public misperception and opinion (or lack of) regarding MBC. My MBC diagnosis was shocking; I had been walking the earth, blissfully unaware that my breast cancer compadres were dying in droves from MBC (lifespan of 2-3 years?!?) and there is no cure. I had thought myself to be knowledgeable, but admittedly I was like most people, barraged with pink everything, attentive to pink balloons and fun races, rather than ALL OF THE FACTS. The reality of our current state of affairs is just awful. We need to continue the conversation to include those of us with MBC. Thank you for opening my eyes as to how and why I had been so oblivious. Now, I can forgive myself, and move on, working on ideas for a solution. Thank you again, and God Bless you for your important work. Best, Nancy Corrigan

Nancy

Tuesday 24th of October 2023

Nancy, I am sorry you are dealing with MBC. That sucks. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are not to blame for not realizing all that stuff. Things have improved during BCAM and beyond, but there is still much work to be done. And, until more dollars are funneled into MBC research, I'll keep beating the drum along with many others. Thank you for your kind words. Hoping your course of treatment works for a long time. My best to you.

Beth Gainer

Wednesday 4th of October 2023

Hi Nancy, as you know I used to blog about breast cancer and my experience with it. I've published work and went on TV to talk about my experience. Also an introvert, I think my TV days are over.

I know this sounds selfish but I consider myself an advocate for myself. I have PTSD from the experience of breast cancer so I can no longer give of myself the way I used to. Thus I decided to close my former blog.

I am working on a collection of poems geared toward people who were diagnosed at a younger age. I wrote the poems years ago. One was recently accepted by a magazine, and I had the honor of reading it on a national venue. Ok maybe my TV days aren't over....

Nancy

Thursday 5th of October 2023

Beth, Yes, I loved your former blog, but I also love your new one on Substack. I didn't know you'd been on TV! It's not selfish at all to focus on being an advocate for yourself. We all need to do that. Your poem collection sounds amazing. Congratulations on having one accepted by a magazine and reading it on a national venue. How wonderful! Thank you for reading and sharing too.

Mary Ireland

Wednesday 4th of October 2023

Hi, Nancy,

Thank you for this week's article about advocacy. It made me cry, but then, I find that I cry more often since my surgery than I ever did before.

I have felt guilty about not being an active, outspoken advocate for breast cancer awareness. Although I do not hesitate to talk about it if asked, it does not fit my introverted personality to be proactive about it. Writing about it is much more comfortable.

I have participated in October pink walkathons, but always thinking of my aunt and sister in law, who are survivors. Otherwise, especially since my diagnosis last October, I don't get involved in the pink explosion. In fact, I put on a pink top this morning without a thought of tying into the month-long obsession with the color.

I wish the obsession were with finding a cure, not promoting a color. Currently, I am one of the lucky ones, diagnosed, amputated, experiencing drug-related side effects, yet cancer free. But I am facing the first anniversary of my diagnosis and the constant fear of recurrence or metastasis. So I am no different than all the other men and women who face similar challenges every day.

Unfortunately, our society is unable and unwilling to cope with the negative impact of breast cancer. The breast is supposed to be a thing of beauty. Let's not change that long-held belief by dwelling on the mutilations suffered by millions of men and women for the sake of survival. If you attempt it, you are bitter and negative, one whose opinion should not be heard. Be positive! Do something positive! Stop dwelling on it! Aren't you over that yet? It's time to move on!

If only it were that easy.

Thanks, Nancy. Your weekly blogs encourage me and give me an outlet to vent.

Mary

Nancy

Thursday 5th of October 2023

Mary, Oh my goodness, I'm so moved by your comments and sage wisdom. I'm so glad you've felt encouraged by my writing. That first anniversary of your diagnosis will likely bring with it a lot of emotions. So, just a heads up on that. Feel free to vent here anytime. Thank you so much for sharing.