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I received an email recently from someone who had experienced the loss of her sweet baby girl over a year ago. Obviously the last holiday season was the first one after her loss and people were “expecting” her to be grieving then. This year she wasn’t quite so sure what people expected and she asked me how I thought she should handle the holidays this year.

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I am certainly no expert when it comes to giving advice about grief, but I have learned a few things along the way. I’ve started compiling lists of lessons I’ve learned from loss. You can find list one here and list two here. Undoubtedly, more lists will be coming…

If I were asked to suggest one piece of advice to help someone who is grieving, I’d be hard pressed to come up with just one thing, but I’d probably have to go with this:

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Here’s the second installment of my lessons learned from loss. If you missed list one, you can find it here. Again, there is no hierarchy or particular order to these lists. It was the act of writing things down randomly that made a difference for me. I changed my original lists from first person to second in an effort to make things more relevant for you.

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June 8th is/was my mother’s birthday. I still tend to say is because that’s what this date will always bring to mind for me first.

My mother loved celebrating birthdays, not so much her own, but everyone else’s. Birthdays were always a huge deal and had to be celebrated as such.

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There are lessons to be learned every day. There are lessons to be learned in everything. We learn from everything we experience, even the bad stuff.

There’s a reason for that old phrase live and learn.

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Enjoying a special day

March 6, 2013 marks five years since my mother died from metastatic breast cancer. Sometimes it seems like it was only yesterday. Sometimes it seems like ages ago.

As it should, time continues on. Time stops for no one.

Five years feels like one of those memorable markers, one of those milestones in the grieving process people speak of.

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Note:  The following is an excerpt from a writing project I’ve been working on. As the five-year anniversary of my mother’s death from metastatic breast cancer draws near, “that time” has been on my mind a great deal. It feels right to share some thoughts with you that I wrote back then about something that was very much on my mind; that thing called “time”.

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