June 8th is my mother’s birthday. This year she would have turned 85; a milestone birthday she never reached, nor did she reach the six that came before it.
Of course, I fully realize that many mothers do not live to see birthday number 85. I fully realize that I am lucky to have had a mother in my life for so many years. I realize many children, both young and not so young, have not had this good fortune.
But still…
Metastatic breast cancer steals moms that are young and it steals moms that are not so young. No matter at what age this theft occurs, it is just that, a theft of a dear loved one that no family should have to endure.
But many families must.
This certain day in June is extra tough for my dad as it is my parents’ wedding anniversary. I always thought it was so sweet how they chose to get married on my mother’s birthday. A special birthday present indeed. This year it would have been their 64th wedding anniversary. I think.
![scan0004[1]](https://i0.wp.com/nancyspoint.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/scan00041.jpg?ssl=1)
I do feel sadness on this day in June, but really no more than on any ordinary day. The loss is for a lifetime and it is felt each and every day.
On this certain day in June, I also feel joy because dear daughter and her hubby chose this day for their wedding two years ago. Such a thoughtful gesture from them; in a way like “inviting” Grandma to the wedding. Thinking back on that day, I’m surprised at how well I held it all together. But I did; well, not completely, but mostly.
![Us-with-Ace[1]](https://i0.wp.com/nancyspoint.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Us-with-Ace1.jpg?ssl=1)
So yes, there is sadness on this certain day in June, but there is joy as well. There are memories of loss, but happy memories too.
And this is how it should be on a certain day in June.
Happy birthday, Mother! Miss you.
We will not forget.
Do you have a certain day that is filled with mixed emotions?
Shannon
Friday 13th of June 2014
My birthday is also June 8th. And this has always been a mixed emotion day for me. Twelve years ago my son died shortly before my birthday and my goal for that birthday was to kill myself. I walked into the sound, thinking I could drown myself. I didn't get very far but it was a turning point for me. I decided that day that I was allowed to be in pain. I was allowed to scream and mourn him for as long as I needed. I was allowed to speak his name and tell others how he died. It was the day I stopped keeping things inside.
I wish I was close to my mom. I was a daddy's girl. Still am, his birthday is June 19th. He passed away at the beginning of my breast cancer battle.
anyway...... Happy Birthday to your MOM. love never dies...
Nancy
Friday 13th of June 2014
Shannon, I don't even know how to adequately respond to your words, Shannon. I'm very sorry about your son's death. I wasn't aware of all that... And your thoughts of suicide on your birthday that followed his death, that's heartbreaking, but understandable too. I'm so glad you are here to share your story. It's an important one. Yes, you are certainly allowed to feel your pain, to scream, to mourn, to do whatever you need to do for as long as you need to do it. Keeping things inside is almost never an answer that works well. And you're so right, love never dies. Thank you for sharing about such personal matters. Caring thoughts coming your way for this emotion-filled month of June and beyond too. xx
kira
Sunday 8th of June 2014
Nancy, I forgot to add, we had lunch with both daughters, son in law, and wonderful granddaughter--and I'm so glad we can celebrate with them, but the milestones are mixed, emotionally.
Nancy
Monday 9th of June 2014
Kira, I'm glad you were able to have that celebration with your family, and yes the emotions can get complicated. xx
kira
Sunday 8th of June 2014
Nancy, it's my daughter's anniversary as well. I was three weeks out from my breast cancer surgery--4 weeks from the diagnosis, I rushed the surgery to be able to be at her wedding.
As always, you write so well and are able to put in words what I feel.
Just the other day--as I now have a complication from the hyst that I had due to endometrial cancer from tamoxifen, and my gyn/onc called me and said "I'm sorry you're going through this, but it could be worse." Yeah, I need a second surgery due to a complication she says is the first in her career (I would argue, that she KNOWS of), and I thought and said later "Share, don't compare." And it made it better for me.
Thank you for giving me the words to help me navigate through this.
Nancy
Monday 9th of June 2014
Kira, What a coincidence that this date is your daughter's anniversary too. How lovely. All that you went through to be there at her wedding - definitely not lovely at all. I'm sorry to hear about your newest complication. Cancer just keeps on causing havoc doesn't it? When will your next surgery be? Thank you for reading and for always "getting" it. Good luck with things.
Lisa DeFerrari
Sunday 8th of June 2014
My mom was taken from us by cancer too, though in her case it was uterine cancer when she was only 50. It was a long time ago but I do have many happy memories of her. Her birthday does tend to be the day I think of her the most. Thanks for sharing some of your and your family's beautiful memories of your mom.
Nancy
Monday 9th of June 2014
Lisa, I'm sorry your mom was stolen by cancer too, and she was so young. I'm glad you have many happy memories of her to carry in your heart. It helps to have those. Thank you for reading and for sharing about your mom. xx
Helensamia
Saturday 7th of June 2014
My dad would have been 85 this year too... He died at 56 from cancer.. Sadly he missed so much but he did see the birth of both my children but did not live to see them grow up... Too sad... Cancer brings such loss to families..
Nancy
Monday 9th of June 2014
Helen, Your dad died when he was still so young and yes, it is very sad that he missed so many things. Cancer is a string of losses. It just is. I'm sorry for your family's losses. Thank you for sharing. xx