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“Dragging My Feet” Into Spring

Are you ready for spring?

I am. Then again, I’m not. I’m “dragging my feet” a bit. It doesn’t much matter though because ready or not, spring is here!

Signs of spring are everywhere.

Temps are rising. Robins are back. Early spring flowers are “timidly” sprouting, allowing us glimpses of green. The ice has disappeared early off our little lake. A certain eagle duo is getting busier and noisier frantically preparing their nest in one of our towering white pines the pair “homesteaded” a couple of years ago.

The arrival of an early spring is something of an oddity in my neck of the woods.

Generally, the calendar says spring around here way before Mother Nature does. Generally, spring doesn’t show its face for another week or two month.

This year Mother Nature decided to change things up a little. Spring-like weather arrived before the calendar “gave its permission.”

Last weekend we enjoyed record setting temps (eighty degrees!) and that was on St. Patrick’s Day no less. We’ve had monstrous snowstorms here on (and after) St. Patrick’s Day! Last year we had a huge pile of snow to melt yet at this point.

Ironically, hubby, son number two and I spent our first warm days of spring cleaning up our yard from the remnants of the heavy wet snow we received only a short while ago.

Yes, Mother Nature likes to keep us guessing around here.

Many people proclaim spring to be their favorite season of the year. Spring brings with it freshness, new growth, new beginnings and simply a feeling of renewal and starting over.

Spring is nature’s busy time.

What’s not to like about that?

I appreciate all these things about spring too.

Still, spring has never been my favorite season. As I’ve probably mentioned before, my vote would have to go to fall.

Does preferring the season when things are withering, falling off and preparing for winter make me some sort of oddity? I don’t know, perhaps. Regardless, fall is the season that makes me most appreciative of life’s cyclic nature….

There’s something extraordinarily special about fall’s fleeting beauty.

Maybe it’s a good thing spring isn’t my favorite season.

Why?

Well, because now I equate associate spring with cancer.

Spring is cancer season for me.

Soon I’ll be staring at all those dates again. Soon I’ll be grappling with all those reminders. Soon I’ll be muddling my way through a new spring and summer while remembering that recent spring and summer two years ago when my life changed in ways I never expected.

I’m moving forward, but still looking back.

I’m trying to look back less frequently and for shorter amounts of time, but I’m still looking. It’s almost like I have to.

I haven’t received “clearance” yet. I know I never will, not completely.

A couple friends of mine have mentioned they started to relax a bit more after hitting year three. Will this be the case for me?

I don’t know.

Whether I’m ready or not, spring has arrived.

And this is a good thing.

I am relishing (while remembering) this fresh season of spring.

How about you?

What’s your favorite season?

What’s your favorite sign of spring?

If you’ve had cancer, have you stopped looking back?

 

Betty

Sunday 8th of April 2012

Loved the eagles pictures. What fun to have them so close. Yes, I think it gets easier with every passing day. Hang in there each and every one of you.

Nancy

Monday 9th of April 2012

Betty, Yes, it is fun to be able to observe the eagle activity. It's incredible how busy and noisy they become. Parenthood is exhausting work for eagles too I guess! Thanks for your supportive words. Glad things have gotten easier for you.

Stacey

Friday 30th of March 2012

Hi Nancy, I'm with you. I don't think I'll ever view May 1st the same ever again. Instead of it being mine and my son's birthday month, it'll always be the month I was diagnosed. Even though, it's the last thing I want to remember and no, I don't think I'll breathe easier at my three year anniversary either. I've just seen too much. The only thing I can do is figure out how to move it from the forefront of my brain and enjoy life. Why is it so hard?

Nice post, amazing photos! Hugs to you this season of Spring.

Nancy

Saturday 31st of March 2012

Stacey, Yes, you are a "spring diagnosis person" too aren't you? I think it's so hard, Stacey, because we "know too much." As you said, we try to learn not to let cancer be in the forefront, but it's always lurking. Thanks so much for commenting. Hope you enjoy all the lovely parts of spring!

Beth L. Gainer

Thursday 29th of March 2012

Nancy,

Yes, we had an 80-degree St. Patrick's Day, too. Where I am, "early spring" is not a phrase we understand. I'm sorry you are entering cancerversaries and the spring season being a reminder. As you know, for me it's winter.

Everybody has a different way of dealing with cancer. Unfortunately, I look back too often, although I also savor life in the present. I try not to look back a lot, but it's hard not to, isn't it?

For me, it hasn't gotten easier as the years have passed; it's just different from year to year.

Nancy

Thursday 29th of March 2012

Beth, Everybody does deal with cancer differently that's for sure. I can't help myself, it's like I must look back. I just try not to "stay" there too long. It's interesting you say it hasn't gotten easier for you as the years have passed, just different. Sounds logical to me. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Susan Beausang

Thursday 29th of March 2012

Nothing much we could call "spring" down here in FL, at least not with respect to temperature, new buds on the trees, or the very obvious changes one witnesses up north. As I look at the fabulous picture you've shared of the bald eagles preparing their nest in your view, I imagine taking comfort in such a spring gift. Down here, it is winter when we see bald eagles nesting, something I consider a winter gift. What a lovely place you call home!

Susan

Nancy

Thursday 29th of March 2012

Susan, Thanks so much for your comments. Yes, the seasons are quite different in Florida I would imagine! This particular eagle pair stays all year round. It's a bit surprising they don't "pull out" for winter. They manage to survive fine I guess.

Jan Baird Hasak

Sunday 25th of March 2012

I love the pictures of the bald eagles. Just gorgeous!

My favorite season does happen to be spring. I was diagnosed with cancer in winter both times, so fortunately I escaped spring cancer diagnoses. The harbinger of spring for me is the beginning pink (natural pink) blooms of the magnolia tree. There's something about the huge magenta petals that remind me of vigor and life.

I have a huge problem with autumn, because both my parents died during that season. And I finished up chemo and radiation in the fall, wondering then when the other shoe would drop and cancer return, now that I was done with treatment.

But now that I am nine years out from my cancer recurrence, I don't look back much at cancer. I look forward to seeing new signs of life, maybe grandchildren, maybe a move. I'm ready and I'm stronger now than ever before. And for that I am grateful.

Thanks for the wonderful post! XOXO Jan

Nancy

Sunday 25th of March 2012

Jan, I remember October has some painful memories for you. I'm sorry. It's encouraging to hear that nine years out you don't look back much at cancer. I look forward to the future too, but I do still look back a lot, especially this time of year. I agree, magnolia trees are beautiful, though of course we don't have those around here. My little crocus flowers are just beginning to bloom. I do love seeing them "smile" at me every spring. They're always first and always lovely, like miniature reliable friends...Thanks for commenting. Enjoy your favorite season of spring!

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