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If you had a crystal ball, would you take a peek?

Do you want to know what the new year has in store for you or no way? If you had a crystal ball, would you take a peek?

It’s safe to say, we’re all relieved to have closed the books on 2020. It was rugged, that’s for sure. Like everyone else, I’m pretty ecstatic to see it over and done with.

We should probably be wary of putting too much pressure on 2021 to be more than what is actually attainable though. It might not be the complete reset year we want it to be. If only…

The first week of the new year has already reminded us (like we needed reminding) that we are still oh-so vulnerable (on many fronts) and continue to face what at times feel like insurmountable challenges.

Just days into 2021, it’s hard not to already feel let down.

Still, hopefully 2021 will be better. Lots better. Or at least somewhat better. At this point, we’ll take somewhat better. Just please, not worse.

Having said that, for some it will not be even somewhat better because loved ones are gone due to Covid-19, cancer and many other reasons.

When things do improve for most of us, we can’t forget those who are grieving (due to whatever sort of loss) and those who will be from here on out.

This particular juncture in time causes me to reflect upon how one year ago we were all still in the dark about this particular virus that caused such havoc and heartache around the globe. That, in fact, it continues to cause both.

Were we really so oblivious to such a potentially lethal threat last January?

Would you have wanted to know last January what was ahead for you, for me, for all of us?

Just think how different things might’ve turned out if we had been even a little bit more prepared for a global pandemic.

Hindsight, as they say, is always 20/20. (Don’t get me started on failed leadership at the top.)

This idea of having a crystal ball with which to gaze into one’s future has always intrigued me. Perhaps this is due in part to my BRCA2+ status of which I came to know about too late to take meaningful action that might’ve made a difference. (Long story.)

I’ve written about this crystal ball topic before, and this feels like a perfect time to revisit it.

So, again, would you have wanted to know what the future held last January, or any January, for that matter? (Such as your cancer year diagnosis January?)

As 2021 begins to unfold, would you want to know what’s in store this year?

When I look back on 2020, there was a lot of unpleasantness, to be sure. But the whole year did not suck. There were good things, bad things, hard things and easy things.

Sure, this is true every year. But 2020 was way out of whack. A balanced year it was not.

It was also a year that exposed us, or rather things about us were exposed. Our inadequacies as individuals, communities and a nation were made glaringly more apparent. (Of course, it spotlighted some good things about us too.)

Disparities were always there, of course, but the pandemic made us see things we’d grown accustomed to looking away from. Crises tend to do that.

It’s also noteworthy, to me anyway, how platitudes creeped into the conversation in 2020.

For example, how many times did you hear things like, we’re all in this together?

Yeah, that’s sorta true. It’s also very much not true. Again, the disparities are real. They always have been.

The above-mentioned platitude reminds me of all those cancer and grief platitudes, which for the most part, are pretty unhelpful. Mostly, they’re just annoying.

You might want to read, The Unspoken Half of Those Platitudes.

Getting back to that crystal ball question…

If it were possible, would you want to know what the future holds for you in 2021?

I suppose if you can’t change the trajectory of your future, there’d be no point in knowing it.

Hmm. Is it better knowing than not knowing about something when there’s not much, if anything, you can do with that knowledge? But, what if you could do something with it? Guess that’s a topic for another day.

Still, I would’ve wanted to know last January what was in store for us, and I would want to know what’s ahead this January and beyond as well.

So yes, if I had that crystal ball for 2021, I would likely take a peek.

What about you?

Happy New Year, Dear Readers!

May 2021 be kinder to us all.

Do you wish you had known last January what the future held?

If you had a crystal ball for 2021, would you take a peek, or no way?

If yes, would you want to know just the good, just the bad or both?

If you had a crystal ball, would you take a peek?  #newyear #holidays #happynewyear #future #pandemic
#Cancer Was Not a Gift & It Didn't Make Me a Better Person:  A #memoir about cancer as I know it #books


Thursday 14th of January 2021

Yes I want a crystal ball To get a sense of what befalls Even those most evil of traitors And their Ego’s forward marching haters. If in my crystal ball I found A cure for what pains me and my heart sounds - With all the knowledge of yesterday Calling upon my will for today And what I know may come to befall A kingdom once richer than all The rest of heaven and what of hell Awaits us in a wishing well I’d only ask for one simple thing Peace for all the pain of the ailing For all a sigh of relief and to breathe A cleaner sky to see our souls Become free of past this past year as it unfolds A choice in everyday to stay home or to just go Anyplace - it’s all my crystal ball would know. Your question isn’t easy to answer But much more difficult a truth to grant you A happier time for you ahead And a dream to come each night instead Of uncertainty and the unbearable pain Of the drought of the truth cleansed by tears and rain.



Friday 15th of January 2021

Ilene, I love what you wrote so much. Thank you. ❤️


Thursday 14th of January 2021

Wow.......................Well said Ilene! Just beautiful........................... You captured these moments, oh, so well................ and you have left me speechless....... --- --- 0 0 .. (-------)


Wednesday 13th of January 2021

Happy New Year! **Warning! Driveling monologue below!** Question #1- Do you wish you had known last January what the future held? Answer - Yes............I would have bought more toilet paper, my favorite toilet paper. Some of those weird brands we were stuck with were definitely suspect.........

But really, I think we all wish we had known, but are almost glad we didn't. (Even though we kind of knew we did know after six months had gone by) I am torn, especially because this last year has been filled with such incredible disappointments and mindblowing sadness that is still unrelenting. Every day seems worse than the day before and it has been almost a full year...... How could any of us swallow that all in one gulp and not have a permanently damaged psyche. It seems that it is better we got it in smaller, barely digestible bites. Although it did get rammed down our throats also. And unfortunately, what is happening now could have been avoided. But if anyone had stood up and told us this would happen, would anyone really believe it? (Although, it sure looks like you can make anyone believe anything these days. Just say it over and over and over and then it just must be true................) Oh, and yah, I remember the "we're all in this together thing," that disappeared right around the 6 month mark, too. Which then was hijacked by neer' do wells for insidious purposes.

If you had a crystal ball for 2021, would you take a peek, or no way?

Okay, guilty, I might take a peek. I have said "If only I had known" for so many reasons, so many times............... But then again, I think there should be a limit, like "If you had only one wish, what would it be? So chose carefully.........." I know, no pressure there...............Sure I could have given you three wishes, but what would be the fun in that?

If yes, would you want to know just the good, just the bad or both?

Oh, you have to know both. Right now its pretty bad. If it gets worse, I want to move to a cabin in the wilderness, but near the ocean...... not too close, but close enough so I end up getting waterfront property due to the ice melting and all those other hoaxes that aren't happening.......

I have to be very honest. I am worried. Isn't everyone? Sure, I still have hope, I can still cling to hope, my arthritic fingers are clenching it tightly.......... We can do this, we can weather the storm (I officially hate that saying more so now..........) I know we still have to trudge thru the next few months and it will still be ugly I think without the vaccines, we would all be in pretty dire moods...... So, there is still hope.........................and that's a good thing........see, at least there is one good thing...


Thursday 14th of January 2021

Tarzangela, Oh my gosh, the toilet paper! Luckily, I tend to always stock up (different from hoarding though) on TP, so I never experienced running out of that. Other stuff, yes. Info did sorta trickle out. We learned about the virus as we went along. Was it better that way, maybe. Maybe not. So much could've been avoided, but can't change that now. "If only I had known" - that's a phrase we hear a lot after someone's been really ill from covid. Of course, as you mentioned, we've all used that one. Hmm, one wish. That'd be too hard for me. There's a lot to worry about these days. Like you said, we have to keep trudging through. The vaccines do give us hope. And boy we need that. Thank you for answering all my questions! My best to you in 2021 and beyond.


Wednesday 13th of January 2021

Nope no crystal ball for me! This breast cancer journey started for me in 2019 and I came across this blog looking for some info on what to do with the terrible inflammation in both wrists from Aromasin pills. I started on Exemestane after finishing chemo in Mar 2020. (Had mastectomy and removal of 7 lymph nodes. Nodes were negative but cancer had started to spread in ducts.) I did not have a really bad time thru it all like some have had and I know that God brought me thru it all. I figured He probably thought I might be a wimp about it all so He spared me from so much. Now I've brought you up to date back to chemo pills I'm supposed to take for 10 years - will be 81 when the 10 years is up! Nurse Pract. changed to Letrozole 6 weeks ago and boy has the pain gotten worse! Any advice or info for this old gal will be greatly be appreciated!


Wednesday 20th of January 2021

Not the same medication, but I developed de Quervain's tendonitis in my left wrist and a torqued kneecap in my right leg because of oral chemotherapy (capecitabine). My oncologist didn't want to believe that they were related to the chemo drug and blamed me doing handwork (which I do for hours each day to manage my PTSD) as the cause. Not only had I NOT done handwork for a week solid before my wrist hurt, I told him that there wasn't any craft I engaged in that involved my kneecap!

I got physical therapy for the knee (had to wear a supportive brace on it while finishing the chemo) and multiple tries at bracing the wrist that eventually led to a cortisone shot. It took five weeks for the shot to take full effect, but it finally did. It's been a year since finishing oral chemotherapy and I've got full functioning back, although I continue to do strengthening exercises and stretching as it feels these will always be areas of potential weakness.

So, even if the doctors don't believe that what you're experiencing is a true "side effect", it is something that affects you and deserves to be treated!


Thursday 14th of January 2021

Janice, You're probably wise for not wanting to peek if you could. I'm sorry you've experienced terrible inflammation in your wrists from Exemestane. And now you've got pain from the new med, that's too bad. I did write a post with 13 tips. Maybe one of them will help. Regardless, don't suffer in silence. Discuss all side effects with your care team. Thank you for sharing. Here's that post:


Wednesday 13th of January 2021

Hi Janice I just wanted to tell you my little story with my wrists. In 2016 I started anastrozole after my surgeries and radiation. Within 4 weeks of starting the pill, both arms and wrists were on fire and numb, especially at night in bed. I could never get comfortable, I would have to get out of bed, walk around and shake out my arms. At my 6 week follow ups with everyone, I told them and none of the doctors were all that concerned. I was getting desperate and turned to doctor google for any kind of insight. And I did happen to look at the white paper I was given before I started taking the pills. One of the rare side effects is carpal tunnel syndrome. I had mentioned that to the doc (the one who gave me that white paper two months earlier), but got told that was not likely a side effect of the pills. Well, I found plenty of professional papers written on the very subject and plenty of real women who had experienced very similar side effects. I also found Nancy's Point in the meantime and am so grateful that I did! After suffering for 8 months, and switching to letrozole, the pain and numbness was happening while I was working and I lost a lot of sleep over those months. I requested a nerve conduction test (not fun). Sure enough, I had severe carpal tunnel in the right and a mild case in the left. I had the surgery done on the right. Everything went well, but within a months time, the thumb area was starting to hurt and back to the doc I went. For the next year or so, I had a couple shots in each wrist for either the carpal tunnel in the left or the de quervains in the right. But, what I can tell you is that I work with my hands and it was really bad then. But after a couple years, things kind of mellowed out and hasn't been so bad. I haven't needed any more shots or surgery even though I get some twangers and slight numbness. I only have another 10 months to complete my 5 year sentence on the pills. I will say, if the problems had persisted, I may have refused to take the pills. Nancy knows my complaints well, just read her posts on The Dark Side of Aromatase Inhibitors", you will see how many of us that are out there with real pain and side effects. There are so many other "discomforts" or "unpleasantness" these pills cause, so don't let your docs try to make you feel like what you are experiencing isn't possible. Their job is to make sure you take that pill, no matter what. But if it hurts too much, don't put up with it. Say something. I should not have waited 8 months in the pain I was in before I demanded that something be done. And even though I hate all the other things these damn pills have done to me, I am glad that I have stuck it out as long as I have. Like Nancy taught us, when taking these pills, break it down into smaller chunks of time. Somehow that makes it more manageable or tolerable. And you will be asked someday, "are the side effects intolerable" and you will ask yourself the same question many, many days. I wish you all the best and hope that "your body gets used to the pill" real soon. I remember being told that my body had to get used to the pill a couple times. I remember walking out of the docs office feeling rather deflated and puffed with anger after that remark.....................still tweaks me............

Donna Funkhouser

Wednesday 13th of January 2021

I don't like surprises, whether good, bad or anything in between. I would definitely want a sneak peek! I am a good scout and I like to be prepared. I've had enough ugly shocks to last a lifetime, and the good surprises are always welcome! This last yr brought me covid to close family members, death to a loved one, a diagnosis of Parkinson's, arthritis , low BP,and broken bones to me, on top of my already post cancer issues and another surgery because of it. It scares me to death to hear people say things can't get worse than last yr because of course they can! But I will continue to have hope for better days to come for all of us. For our health and for our country. I want to peek right now!!!


Thursday 14th of January 2021

Donna, I don't like surprises much either, so I'd definitely peek too. Last year brought more than its share of yuck to you and your family. I'm sorry you've experienced the death of a loved one, and I'm sorry about all that other stuff too. Of course, things can always get worse, but we can't let ourselves go there barely into January! Yes, let's keep hoping for better days to come for all of us. It's probably best we can't peek, but it is an intriguing question. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on it. My best to you in 2021.

Kristie Konsoer

Wednesday 13th of January 2021

No, I would not want to know. Yet . . . we did know about 2020. We had been warned about COVID numbers if no action were taken. We had been told over and over again about the president, and he showed us over and over again who he was. He even told us. Signs are always there. If an official crystal ball existed, it would never have been believed. I do agree with Linda that I'd love to know I have a long life ahead of me with MBC. I will just believe it to be so. Let's make 2021 a good year.


Thursday 14th of January 2021

Kristie, I don't think we knew about covid in early January, although I can't remember for sure when I heard the first rumblings about it. And yeah, don't get me started on our almost out of office president who did know some things that should've been acted upon. I hope we can all help make 2021 a good year or at least a better one. Thank you for commenting.

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