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My Dad – A Father’s Day Post

If you’re a regular reader of Nancy’s Point, you know I often write about my mother. I thought perhaps it was time to write a post about my dad. Since Father’s Day weekend is here, what better time, right?

My dad is and always has been a quiet and reserved sort of father. He is more of a pat-you-on-the-arm kind of dad then a hugging kind of dad. That was/is okay with me. He’s a man of few words (frustrating yes, but I long ago accepted this because he’s not about to change, nor should he necessarily), but when he does say something, it’s generally worth your time to listen.

My dad is without a doubt the most patient man I’ve ever known, and this quality undoubtedly came in really handy since he was a high school history teacher for years and yes, I did have him for a teacher too. I don’t recall seeing him lose his temper – ever. And I’m not just talking about in a classroom.

How many people can you say that about?

When I think about it, my dad most likely has always preferred the company of young people, even really young people. Some men shy away from handling tots and babies, especially newborns, not my dad. He’s always first in line to handle any new bundle of joy. He seems to have an uncanny way of connecting with kids of any age without words or a lot of fussing. Kids are/were naturally drawn to this quality in him; some sort of invisible genuine-ness they sense I guess.

My dad is incredibly smart and still astounds me time and time again with his extensive knowledge about historical matters as well as other stuff. He’s also truly wise. These two things are definitely not the same thing. I’m pretty sure we all know some really smart people who lack a whole bunch of qualities, including wisdom, right?

Of course here, too, when I talk about my dad, cancer gets in the way. Cancer really screwed up my mother’s life and therefore my dad’s too. He’s eyes saw much, as did mine.

I have often wondered how it must feel to be a man who witnessed his wife die from breast cancer and then two years later, see a daughter diagnosed with the same wretched disease. It must be a very painful thing, especially for someone who doesn’t easily speak of such matters.

Sometimes I worry that I am the reminder, the reminder of cancer, the reminder of great loss. I hate that role, no I despise it.

I could of course ask him about these things, but I know he’d rather I did not. He doesn’t often speak about my mother. He doesn’t often speak about breast cancer, in fact; he almost never mentions it. I think it’s just too hard.

He is and will always be a man of few words; one who keeps his feelings tucked deep inside somewhere.

His quiet ways continue and this is still okay with me, well most of the time anyway!

Happy Father’s Day, Dad!

Wishing a Happy Father’s Day to all men who love, nurture and care for/about children. And just as I said on Mother’s Day about mothers, the same is true for the men; you don’t even have to be a dad to do that.

What’s one of your fondest “dad memories”?

If applicable, how does/did your father react to your diagnosis?

How would you describe your father?

 

This was taken after my mom’s diagnosis, but before mine.

 

 

Astrid Brown

Sunday 15th of June 2014

Today is my first Father's Day without my Dad. He lost his ten year battle with cancer on 6 December 2013. Such a sad day but I have fond and special memories. We can only honour his legacy in all we do. He was positive till the end. Astrid, South Africa

Nancy

Sunday 15th of June 2014

Astrid, I am very sorry your dad died from cancer. It's hard to face all those "firsts". Life changes when you lose your parents, it just does. There is much to miss and the loss is forever. I'm sure you are feeling a lot of sadness right now, but I'm glad you have special and fond memories to help get you through. Thank you so much for sharing about him.

Betty

Sunday 30th of June 2013

A wonderful post about your Dad and so very true. I was about 9 years old when I first met him and thought he was just terrific.

Nancy

Monday 1st of July 2013

Betty, I'm glad you liked it. I love those old photos taken of you with him and mother way back then. You know him so well... Thanks for reading and commenting.

Judy Myer

Sunday 23rd of June 2013

Such a beautiful story about your dad. He is so lucky to have you as his daughter. I know my comment is too late but I just wanted to share few things regarding my dad. He is very hardworking, strict at times but he is so funny!! He is the joker of the family, he wants us to be happy at all times, approachable and cool. :)

Nancy

Sunday 23rd of June 2013

Judy, Guess what - comments here are never too late! Thank you so much for reading and for sharing about your dad - approachable and cool - sounds like he's pretty great. Thanks again for stopping by.

Carolyn Frayn

Thursday 20th of June 2013

Such a beautiful story about your Dad Nancy, what a kind, gentle man he is... I hope you don't think about being the reminder of great loss often, you are no doubt the reminder of great love, always...

I have many memories of my Dad, I hold them all very close to my heart and think about him daily... I loved it most when he'd come over to my house to watch my two boys play in the back yard while he held my youngest, then a baby... (we lived a block away)... we'd share tea and just chat about nothing in particular. Dad was on home kidney dialysis at that time. I miss him madly... Family was the most important thing to Dad, then came his dogs (part of the family), and then his lawn. :)

Nancy

Friday 21st of June 2013

Carolyn, I'm so glad you read and commented. I loved hearing about your dad. Thanks for sharing.

Delia @ Blog Formatting

Wednesday 19th of June 2013

You have a wonderful dad, Nancy, be blessed to have him around and cherish these wonderful moments!

I recall how my dad would never get mad at us and he was so, so kind... He also liked to joke a lot, which was great for us kids.

The only moments he was talking in a stern voice we knew we have to stop and pay attention bc it was serious matter.

Nancy

Wednesday 19th of June 2013

Delia, I do indeed. Thanks for reading and sharing a bit about your dad.

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