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October Will Always Belong to My Dad

Another October is here and with it comes another month of breast cancer awareness shenanigans. Once again, there will be too-many-to-count posts and articles to read about pink ribbon this and pink ribbon that. (Not that any of it is actually about pink or pink ribbons at all; it goes way deeper than that).

There will undoubtedly again be many chances to get frustrated with the nonsense that will surely come. I’ve got a few posts of my own planned.

But guess what?

All that can wait because for me, October will always, first and foremost, belong to my dad.

My dad’s birthday is October 3rd. I don’t say, “was”, because it is still his birthday. It always will be.

This year my dad would have turned 90. That’s a lot of years of living he was blessed with. I know that. I understand that. And I am grateful. I am, but I wanted a few more, just one more. Had we had more, that would not have been enough either. This is just the way we tend to think, I suppose.

And btw, when someone’s elderly loved one dies, it is not comforting for her to hear, at least your dad lived a long life.

True, but not comforting. Not right now. Probably never.

But back to October…

Many of my online friends dread October. Hate it even. Not me. I love October. Always have. Always will. I love it in spite of the pink craziness. My dad loved October too.

I love October for many reasons.

But mostly because October will always belong to my dad. ❤️

How do you feel about October these days?

What’s your favorite month?

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Breast cancer awareness shenanigans can wait. First and foremost, October will always belong to my dad. #breastcancerawarenessmonth #pinkribbons

One of our first pics together.

My dad, me and Sophie in the bacyyars

One of our last – taken on my dad’s last visit to my house.

Elizabeth Lowe

Monday 16th of August 2021

Nancy, I was Googling the author who wrote that grief is love with nowhere to go (I know I didn't quote that verbatim) and found what you wrote about your father. I just lost my dad in July; his birthday was also in October, and felt compelled to comment out of kinship. My dad would have been 103 this October and was sharp as a tack and a one-of-a-kind man who was loved by so many. The last few months our visits were different because of COVID, which I suppose has both helped this transition and filled me with extra grief because I was looking forward to in-person family gatherings and hugging him. I am realizing that grief is deep, it is forever, and that losing a parent is life changing. I am entering a whole other part of life, a threshold I never wanted to cross, and it is bringing new, albeit unwelcome, depth to my life. I know my grief won't go away, although I will somehow learn to manage it because I must. Thank you for putting these things into words.


Monday 16th of August 2021

Elizabeth, I am so sorry about your dad. Grief is deep indeed. And forever. I understand much of what you're feeling, although of course, at the same time, everyone's grief is personal. It's so hard, but I hope it helps knowing you're not alone. I really appreciate you taking time to comment. That means a lot. Again, I'm sorry.


Thursday 28th of September 2017

Hi Nancy, thank you for sharing your thoughts, lessons and inspirations. It helps me to be strong. I lost my dad just recently, September 10. I came through your site as I was searching on Google how to cope with the pain and grief. I happen to read your article on Huffington Post on "8 Tips for Coping with the Death of a Parent." Then I clicked the link to your website.

Reading the articles related to grief, I learned we have a lot in common, like my dad was a history teacher too and his birthday is October. That's why I commented on this post because just like you, October will always belong to my dad. I always associate this month with my dad.

Another thing we have in common, we love pets and we (me and my mom) also let go of one of our pet dogs 3 days after my dad's funeral. Just like you, we chose euthanasia rather than see our 7-year old female dog suffer from the pain and uncertainty of going though pyometra surgery.

Indeed, sharing your grief and thoughts help.

Thank you Nancy.

Nadj, 26 yeard old Daddy's girl from Philippines


Thursday 28th of September 2017

Nadj, I am very sorry about your dad's death. I'm glad reading some of pieces has been helpful. I appreciate you telling me that. October will first and foremost always belong to my dad. The same will be true for you as well. Interesting they were both history teachers. And yes, I love our family pets. Sorry you had to make the tough decision to let one of yours go. It's very hard. Thank you for reading and commenting. Take care of yourself. Grief is for the long haul. But so is the love.

Beth L. Gainer

Thursday 20th of October 2016

Hi Nancy,

I'm playing catch-up with your post. I'm so behind in my blog readings. My brother shares your dad's birthday! October 3 is special for me, too. I know you are grieving, and it's been rough, understandably. I wish I could give you a hug, but a cyberhug will have to do.

Anyway, I also love October because of the beautiful colors where I'm at. I love the crisp fall days and the crunch of leaves under my feet. This year, I have not allowed the pink stuff to get in the way of my appreciation for the month. Thank you for writing this.


Friday 21st of October 2016

Beth, I remember that you, too, love October. I really haven't noticed much pink this year, well, compared to other years anyway. I wonder if we're starting to make a dent. I love that your brother shares my dad's birthday. Thanks for sharing that. And thanks for the cyber hug too. xx


Saturday 15th of October 2016

Hi Nancy, I'm thinking of you. Thank you for sharing about your father. Your love for him shows through every word you write.

I don't mind October too much. Since last year, I am noticing less and less pink products. Wondering if some organizations are starting to get the point. Maybe not. Perhaps I am expecting too much, still. Anyway, the fact that I am not seeing too much pink this month makes me feel appreciative of the Fall season, which is my favorite of the year (after summer).

By the way, you were such an adorable baby! May the memories of your dad make each day a little easier. xoxo


Monday 17th of October 2016

Rebecca, I think I am seeing less pink this year too. Or maybe I just tune it out better now. Not sure. And yes, I am very grateful for my many memories of my dad. I cherish them. Thank you for reading and for your kind words. xo


Tuesday 11th of October 2016


Love the fresh perspective on October. Thank you for the different perspective and beautiful tribute to your dad. I appreciate you sharing this with us. October is a month of ironies and bittersweet for me too. My first husband was killed in a motorcycle crash on 10/27/09. I met my new husband in October. Last year, my mother died on 10/24 from congestive heart failure. Thank you for the idea of giving them their birthday month as a tribute. Peace & Blessings.


Wednesday 12th of October 2016

Teresa, Oh my, you have some intense memories surrounding October. I'll be thinking about you. Thank you for reading and for your kind words.

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