Random Thoughts for Mother’s Day 2019

The other day when I was shopping for a card to give Best Mother-in-Law Ever, I thought about how lucky I am to still have someone to get a card for this Mother’s Day.

One of the next thoughts I had while sifting through cards and ruling most of them out because they said dumb things was, is it just me, or is it harder to find appropriate cards these days (for any occasion)?

A lot of random thoughts have been popping into my head as I contemplated what I might write about this Mother’s Day, or if I should write about anything at all. I decided, okay, I’ll just go with random.

(Blogging tip: when in doubt, go with random thoughts about the subject of your choosing.)

So, here are 13 random thoughts for Mother’s Day 2019.

1. As you might know, my mother died eleven years ago from metastatic breast cancer.

She’s been gone dead for a decent chunk of time now, a fact that in some ways, is still startling, saddening (is that a word?), upsetting and even after eleven years, still hard to completely fathom.

2. Sometimes I just want to hear my mother’s voice again.

Though I remember so much about my mother, I’m sad I now have to stop and think about what her voice sounded like. I worry I’ve forgotten.

Shouldn’t a good daughter be able to remember the sound of her mother’s voice without having to think so hard about it?

I wish I had more recordings of that first voice I ever heard and will never hear again.

3. Like most relationships, mother/daughter relationships are complex.

The relationship I had with my mother was complex too, but luckily, it was mostly good. Really good. I’m grateful for that this Mother’s Day and every other day of the year too.

4. Sometimes it really pisses me off that my mother wasn’t around for my breast cancer diagnosis and all its aftermath.

I know it would’ve been hard for her to witness all the chaos. But OMG, we could’ve had some amazing conversations, which I’m sure would’ve included a lots of commiserating, ranting and likely a bit of cussing too.

5. I try really hard not to compare my cancer experience to my mother’s.

Most of the time, I’m successful. But not all the time.

6. Even now, after eleven years, I often find myself thinking, I wonder what Mother would think.

This often happens when I finish a book, see a movie, plant a flower, bake something using one of her recipes and yes, when I know my house is a wreck, which is fairly often these days. (Hers never was, or so it seemed.)

And of course, I wonder what she’d think about me writing about her in blog posts (like this one) and in my books.

7. Pastors, priests, rabbis and other clergy should stop and think about the pain they perhaps unknowingly inflict on some when they ask mothers to stand up for acknowledgement on Mother’s Day, give out flowers or whatever they do to mark the day.

After all, some among us are not mothers yet long to be mothers, have recently lost mothers, have hurtful memories about mothers, were once mothers but no longer are mothers, have no interest in being mothers yet feel pressured to be mothers, or whatever the case might be.

Might there be a better way?

Like just no standing?

You might want to read, When Mother’s Day Hurts.

8. I don’t have a lot of regrets regarding my mother, but I have a few. I’ll share about them some day. Maybe.

9. I am incredibly lucky to be a mother to three wonderful children.

Sure, they’re adults now, but they’ll always be my kiddos. Motherhood isn’t easy, but it’s always a blessing. At least it has been for me. Grateful is what I am for each of them this Mother’s Day.

10. I am now a mother-in-law x 3.

This is a new, interesting and fun role for me.

11. I am also now of a certain age when people ask, do you have any grandchildren yet?

Interesting, the assumptions people make based on your age, appearance or whatever. So far, I always just smile and say, yes, four furry ones.

12. It intrigues me to think about the lives our mothers led before they were mothers. What about you?

Hence, this post from last year, Our Mothers Before They Were Mothers.

13. All these made up, Hallmark holidays are sort of lame.

I mean, do we really need designated days to recognize our moms, dads, grandparents or whomever or whatever?

On the other hand, perhaps it’s a good thing to mark our calendars with days like these.

And so…

Happy Mother’s Day to women everywhere who love and nurture children!

If the day is a painful one for you, I’m sorry.

May it help to know you’re not alone and that others understand, or try to.

Share something about YOUR mother, grandmother or other special woman who’s had an impact on your life.

If you have a painful memory about Mother’s Day, you’re welcome to share about that too.

Share anything at all about Mother’s Day or motherhood (or shopping for cards these days).

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