It’s hard to believe ten years have passed since the December 14, 2012 shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT. But here we are.
Ten years ago, I thought that was it. That was finally the moment. I mean, if this country didn’t get its act together and DO something about trying to end gun violence after 20 six-and-seven-year-olds, along with six staff members, were gunned down at Sandy Hook Elementary School, when would it?
The gunman (I won’t repeat his name) fired 154 rounds in less than five minutes, claiming 26 lives.
Ten years later, I’m still trying to remain hopeful that things can change, though it gets harder to not let the anger, horror, sadness, and frustration overtake that hope.
Change has been slow — slower than a snail’s pace. But finally, it feels like meaningful change is happening with more to come. It feels like the tide is changing. But much remains to be done.
NOTE: The following is an edited version of an article I wrote that first appeared on Huffington Post in December, 2012. You can read that version here, should you want to
I’m sharing my piece with you in remembrance of lives forever changed that December day.
Sure, it’s the holidays, but this doesn’t mean we can’t talk about hard things. Sad things. Awful things. Those things happen during the holidays too. We cannot, must not, and will not forget.
The Newtown, CT Shooting — The Losses Have Become Too Great to Bear
The losses have become too great to bear.
The losses resulting from the December 14th shooting in Newtown, Connecticut are losses felt by the entire country, perhaps by the entire world. Of course, the losses felt by the family members directly impacted by this horrific event are of an entirely different and unimaginable magnitude, but the losses nonetheless, are felt by the rest of us as well.
All our hearts have taken a direct hit this time.
I’m sharing my thoughts on this massacre because like everyone else, I feel tremendous sadness and anger.
In spite of the horror, sadness, and anger I also feel hopeful. I have to.
I feel hopeful that finally something might change because the losses have become too great to bear.
As an educator, parent, and human being; mostly, I’m incredibly sad.
When I first learned of this shooting, my heart broke.
When I later learned the specifics about the young lives lost, my heart broke all over again.
When lives lost in a senseless massacre include those of young children only six and seven years old, still just babies, there is another whole level of darkness to the losses.
The losses have become too great to bear.
As a former educator of young children, this attack felt personal.
I know from first-hand experience what it’s like to be in charge of a classroom of elementary-age children. The enormous responsibility I felt when entrusted with the greatest treasures of parents, their children, is one I took seriously every time I stepped into a classroom. All teachers do. There is an incredible bond of trust that exists.
Safety of children is always first and foremost in the minds of educators.
When I heard the account of one first grade teacher describing how she huddled together with her students in the bathroom while hearing and attempting to block out the noise of gunshots, it brought me to tears.
When I learned how another first grade teacher shielded her students with her own body as she tried to protect them from gunfire, my heart broke for her family. That teacher died protecting her students. Imagine the terror she must have felt in those moments as she tried to figure out what she could do to save her students. I can’t help but wonder what her final thought was when she realized there wasn’t anything to be done.
Except to be there. Comforting them. As they faced death. That, she could, and did, do.
Saying she was a hero isn’t enough, not even close. It feels like lip service.
The heartbreak and sadness of her family, and of all the families directly impacted by this shooting rampage, is too much for the rest of us to even comprehend. And yet, we must try to do just that.
On top of the sadness, I also feel angry.
I’m angry about mass killings in schools, movie theaters, shopping malls, and places of worship. I’m angry how we seem to be getting used to hearing about such things. I’m angry about how we get riled up for a week or two about such news, but then, seem to forget.
I’m angry about how such a thing could even happen in an elementary school.
I want answers to questions like these:
- How many lives must be lost to gun violence before we get serious about putting stricter safety (it’s not about control, it’s about safety) restrictions in place?
- Isn’t there some kind of reasonable action lawmakers and other leaders can agree upon that might make even a small difference?
- If this is also a mental health issue, why don’t we place more emphasis and spend more dollars on mental health care instead of making cuts to it?
- Does the right to bear any kind of weapon outweigh the right a child has to grow up?
- And why are some Americans so obsessed with retaining the right to own every kind of gun anyway?
No wants to take away anyone’s guns.
I am not anti-gun. I support the Second Amendment. But does anyone outside of military personnel or law enforcement really need to own an assault-type weapon?
I don’t think so.
These are just some of the important questions I hope will be asked over and over again in the coming days, weeks and beyond.
Finally, in spite of all the sadness and anger, I do feel slightly hopeful.
I feel hopeful because I don’t want to feel hopeless.
I feel hopeful because finally, the losses have become too great to bear.
Of course, every loss has always been too great, but now, as a nation, maybe we are finally ready to take meaningful action in order to at least try to prevent more of them.
Can we prevent all losses?
Of course not. But we can take steps that might make a difference. We must. Our children deserve more.
We all do.
It’s time.
It’s past time.
Because the losses have become too great to bear.
2022 update: The families of Sandy Hook, and too many others as well who’ve experienced similar tragedies before and after that terrible day, continue to carry on without their dear ones.
Their hearts remain broken.
Their homes, their holiday tables, continue to have empty places. And it won’t matter how many more years pass.
Their losses are still too great to bear.
Perhaps it boils down to this:
We need to love our babies more than our guns.
Because the losses have become too great to bear.
Thank you for sharing this post!
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You might want to read: Keeping kids safe in schools – 8 things we can all do and/or Thoughts & Prayers Are Not Enough!
Lindsay
Thursday 15th of December 2022
Politicians love to use the second amendment as a reelection tactic with no intention of action, unfortunately.
I am under the impression that almost all school shooters have been young men who either had diagnosed mental health issues or who were struggling emotionally at home and in life.
I wish I knew what the answer was. It's complex and needs deep discussion. We don't even know where to begin. With the parents? With young children? I feel that teenage boys and young men are sometimes "forgotten" in our culture, but no one knows what to do about this.
I think citizens and politicians (the few that care) should be looking at ways to support families, children and teenagers, but I don't know what that support would be. I'm guessing a good place to start would be to ask teachers and church leaders for their ideas.
Nancy
Wednesday 21st of December 2022
Lindsay, You make excellent points. Politicians have become part of the problem. The thing is, other countries have similar issues, not just us. And the common denominator in all the shootings, obviously, is guns. There are so many guns in our country it's crazy. If we just said no more assault-type guns should be sold, that would be a meaningful thing to at least try again. We've done it before and it helped. It's a complex problem, for sure. But doing nothing, or next to nothing, is not the answer and innocent lives are being lost due to lack of action. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Linda C Boberg
Thursday 15th of December 2022
I feel like the tide is turning...slowly. My Dad was a life-long member of the NRA and guns decorated our hallway. He was also a gun safety teacher and taught all seven of us about how to protect ourselves and not just with guns. I asked to shoot one and he took me to his driving range. It is not an experience that I would choose to repeat. And I know that Dad would be aghast over all this senseless death. More needs to be done!
Nancy
Wednesday 21st of December 2022
Linda, Most gun owners are like your dad was. Sensible gun safety reform is sorely needed. I think the tide is turning, but too late for so many families. More definitely needs to be done. Thank you for sharing.