Should a chemo patient shave the hair off and if so, when?
I hope the photo of me below with my disappearing hair doesn’t scare anyone away. It was actually taken a few weeks ago when I had MORE hair.
Before beginning chemo, Dear Hubby and I signed up for a required chemo class at the hospital where I would be receiving it. We already knew quite a bit about chemo since my mother had had it a couple years earlier, but when you are going to be having it yourself, suddenly you can never know too much about it.
At the class, we received a packet full of information, watched a video and listened to a chemo nurse talk about what to expect.
Surprisingly, to me at least, during class that chemo nurse looked at me and said, “Nancy with the drugs you will be receiving you will definitely be losing your hair.”
I know she meant well and was only trying to prepare me, but that comment made in front of the entire group was unexpected and I felt unnecessary. I mean, is there really anyone on the planet who doesn’t understand that chemo usually (though not always, so don’t assume) equals hair loss?
“Yes, I am totally aware of that,” I managed to answer as if it would be no big deal to lose my hair. But, I kinda wanted to slap her.
That wouldn’t have been very smart though as I knew she might very well soon be MY chemo nurse.
Anyway, here I am post chemo session 7, and I still have some hair on my head. Granted, it’s not much, but there’s still some there.
If you saw the Leonardo D’Caprio movie Shutter Island, I look like the creepy crazy woman with thin hair standing in the flower garden at the beginning of the movie when he arrives on the island. If you saw the movie and have had chemo, you know exactly who I’m talking about.
I think there’s a message in there somewhere that if you have thin hair you are scary looking, and I don’t think I like that message very much, but that’s a topic for another time.
It seems most chemo patients shave their heads as soon as hair loss begins or even before. It makes them feel more in control they say. Not me.
I’ve hung onto my hair as long as possible. I lamented when it began to fall out in clumps, and I still carefully pluck strands from the back of my clothes as if saying goodbye to old friends.
Don’t get me wrong, I have adjusted to having almost no hair surprisingly well. (Not like I had a choice though). I even walk around the house without wearing anything on my head.
Dear Hubby just laughs and says, “Oh, I got used to that a long time ago.” (Even though we both know fully well it’s no laughing matter and neither of us has really gotten used to it.)
And my kids don’t care. Neither do the dogs. In fact, the dogs get more nervous, eyeing me suspiciously for a few moments, whenever I put a wig on. They don’t miss a thing; they totally know it’s fake hair and that I look different. My dogs prefer my “natural” look.
Does not shaving my hair off like most chemo patients do make me weak, vain or just plain weird?
Am I unable to face reality?
Or did my defiant rebellious side kick in that day at chemo class?
I don’t know or care.
I do know when I’m finished with chemo, (and I fully realize unlike me, those with mbc will never be finished) I will shave off any remaining hair on my head so I can start over from scratch. Otherwise, I’ll end up with some freakish mish-mash of length, color and texture even I am not willing to deal with.
I guess the point of all this rambling, is that you can and should do what you want about shaving your head. Shave it all off early or let it fall out slowly.
So, should a chemo patient shave the hair off and if so, when?
You decide. It’s your hair, it’s your cancer and it’s your decision.
Update: Other posts about chemo you might want to read:
What Should You Take to Chemo?
What Is Chemo-Induced Flushing?
If you have had chemo, did you shave your head as soon as hair loss began? (or if you know someone who has had chemo, what did they do?)
Note: More information about chemotherapy is available in my book, Getting past the fear: A guide to help you mentally prepare for chemotherapy. For all your purchasing options, click on the book image below.
Phyllis
Friday 19th of January 2024
I found a wonderfully helpful video from Hats, Scarves, and More by a hairdresser (who is also a cancer survivor) about whether or not to shave your head during chemo. If you do decide to shave it, she has some great tips on how to keep your head from being sore or your scalp from becoming dry. Her name is Nikki something (sorry - chemo fog!). Hope this helps as I’m going through this right now.
X
Thursday 26th of October 2023
I didn’t shave either. Yup, looked like a ‘plucked chicken’ I joked about that to my husband but I didn’t want to shave. After I finished chemo I got a haircut I liked and I’m waiting for my hair to grow into it. Three months later it’s looking pretty good. Thanks for the post. While I respect people that want to shave their heads I didn’t like the expectation from others that I would shave mine. I didn’t want to and I didn’t. It looked like crap but I didn’t really care. I occasionally wore a cap or a hat but not on a daily basis. Anyway, one doesn’t need to shave their head unless they want to. I was more comfortable with horribly thin long hair and I didn’t care to hide it to make others comfortable. Again, depends on what you want. If you’re more comfortable shaving or wearing a wig, then that’s the way to go.
Nancy
Thursday 26th of October 2023
X, I completely agree with you. People should do want they want. I always felt like I supposed to shave it off early on - so I'd feel more in control. Uh-uh. I felt more in control waiting and doing it when I was ready. Thank you for sharing what you did. Hope you are doing well.
Lucy
Friday 20th of May 2022
I plan to shave mine off first, but that’s for a couple of reasons. 1 I have shaved all my hair off before (I did a Britney) and although I didn’t like the look it was so comfortable and I hardly ever look in mirrors anyway so don’t notice. 2 my hair is now the longest it’s ever been and I plan to cut it off and glue the ends to my head scarf so I can have my own long hair whenever I want. These are my personal reasons for my own hair loss, whatever you think is right for you is right for you. Wishing you every success with your treatment xx
Nancy
Saturday 21st of May 2022
Lucy, Sounds like you've figured out what you want to do and that's what matters. Thank you for sharing. My best to you.
Diane
Sunday 25th of July 2021
I appreciate all that you write about cancer! I dreaded losing my hair as it was one thing I liked about myself. I paid for polar cap therapy which didn't work completely probably because my hair was so thick and curly. My brother lovingly would re-ice my head with the required dry ice. What it did do, was keep a small patch in the front and another in the back. With a hat I didn't look bald. I wore wigs of all colors and lengths. They were so hot and painful, but not as painful as seeing myself or others seeing me without hair. I wore them sometimes even when I didn't leave the house. I avoided mirrors and kepts the blinds drawn.It was much harder to lose my hair than my breasts. One can easily hide breasts. I would never do chemo again. I felt power in choosing not to shave my head. I applaud the women who do, And those who don't! It came back for which I'm forever grateful.
Nancy
Tuesday 27th of July 2021
Diane, I completely understand about how hard hair loss is. And yeah, the wigs are pretty darn uncomfortable to wear for very long. Glad to hear your hair came back. Mine came back so-so at best. I hope you're doing well now. Thank you for sharing about your experience with hair loss.
Nuria
Friday 30th of October 2020
I am going through chemo right now have only had one treatment out of 6 every 3 weeks. My hair has always been one of my best features. I was fortunate to have thick hair and lots of it with lots of natural volume. At hair salons I am praised and paraded around. I have had long hair since I was 22 ( I am48 now) and i have loved it. Once I learned I would be losing my hair, I wanted to come to terms with it. Friends and family both told me I might not since I had so much and it was so thick. I sensed the prospect of hair loss was more uncomfortable for them than for me. A few days after my chemo treatment a sweet guy friend of mine came over and buzzed my hair off. I still had hair but it was very short. For me the prospect of seeing my beautiful hair come out in clumps was too emotionally distressful. I had two weeks to get used to my short look if you will. Now it is not so much falling out but I can pull it without resistance or effort. My scalp in painful and it itches . tomorrow I will be shaving it off and I feel empowered by it. I like it better than the bald spots on my head I have now. it will also feel better when laying my head on my pillow. I have always said it is just hair and it will grow back... when getting a haircut that I did not love. I keep trying to say that to myself now. I am not happy I had to loose my hair but it is just hair and it will grow back. My desire to live is stronger than my desire to keep my hair. I will try to embrace my bald head as much as I can. It does help that I have a very supportive group of friends and one of them shaved her head in solidarity so I would not go through this alone. I do agree with the original point though we must do what feels right for ourselves without letting others dictate what that should be. I felt pressured from others to keep my hair and see what happens and shaving it felt like more control. it was the right decision for me. For others it may be to wait till they are ready whenever that may be.
Nancy
Sunday 1st of November 2020
Nuria, I'm sorry you are going through hair loss as a direct result of chemo and cancer. It's hard. I'm glad you've decided to do what feels right for you regarding shaving it off. I hope that went okay and wasn't too traumatic. Hoping your treatment goes as smoothly as possible. Thank you for sharing about your experience. It'll be helpful for others to read your words.