“Still In Mourning” – Reflections on the 2016 Presidential Election

This post  was published one week following the 2016 presidential election.

As most of you know, generally I steer clear of politics on this blog for various reasons. After all, this is a cancer blog; however, I also frequently focus on loss, so this post seems appropriate for that reason alone. So here goes…

I am a proud Democrat. Always have been. Probably always will be. Some of you will read no further because of this. But some of you will read on. (Thank you). I’ve lived through quite a few Presidential elections by now, including a fair number of them which resulted in losses for candidates of my choosing, but as these losses go, this one feels different. How do I know this?

Because a week later, I am still in mourning.

And I am not alone.

I never felt this way before. Sure I’ve been disappointed and sad and even angry. But this time it feels different. This loss feels more profound, more personal, more troubling.

Too dramatic?

I think not.

We are mourning for what might have been and for what we believe should have been. Do not discount our feelings as merely sour grapes. It is more than this, so much more.

I don’t want this to be another article bemoaning all that went wrong for the Democrats. There were many wrongs on both sides. We all lived through the agony of this particular election cycle. And even if your side won, you have to admit it was damn bizarre that it did.

And by the way, the serious mistakes made by the Democrats were many. I live in Wisconsin, a state that was once counted on to go blue in presidential elections, at least in recent years. Had the Clinton campaign consulted me, I would’ve mentioned my concerns. You see, I have observed the slow, but meticulous swallowing up of blue by red in this state, in fact, I have seen it on the very street I live on. I remember the recent recall election, perhaps you (the Clinton campaign) should have remembered as well.

I found it particularly interesting that immediately following the election a reporter asked Mr. Trump if he had perhaps gone too far with the negative rhetoric in his campaign. Deep down we all know he did. I believe in his heart of hearts, Mr. Trump knows it too.

Still, his response was, “No. I won.”

This is what I cannot get past.

Does the end justify the means? Always?

I don’t think so. I cannot get past the outrageous, hurtful and yes, disgusting things said and done during this campaign by the candidate himself (and others). It appears many could. And this is so deeply troubling to me and terribly, terribly sad. I am grateful my children are adults. I am relieved I am no longer standing in front of a classroom of second graders.

How does one explain these things to children?

Principles matter. Character matters. Decency matters. Respect matters. And as I’ve said time and time again on this blog, words matter. This doesn’t mean perfection is a requirement (because who hasn’t fucked up?), but perhaps humility and the ability to apologize should be.

I know I am in mourning because I recognize that I am experiencing some of those stages of grief we all know about. I have definitely been experiencing feelings of denial, sadness, despair and anger.

Acceptance, I do not know when or if I can make it to that stage. I am just so damn disappointed.

I am disappointed with the system (which in reality was rigged against HRC, not Mr. Trump), the voters who stayed home, the people who voted based only on their own economic situations, Republicans who mostly kept quiet (while literally squirming with discomfort during the campaign) always putting party before country, the Democrats who weren’t paying attention to legitimate concerns held by many voters, WITH WOMEN, with the media (I’ll be tuning out most cable news shows for quite some time), with pollsters (will never listen to them again) and perhaps mostly with myself for not doing more.

And I am no longer confident I will live to see a woman residing in the White House as the commander in chief. After 240 years, and as a democracy the world looks up to, (and btw, America is and always has been great) there is something quite sad about this, don’t you think?

Another reason to mourn.

And please do not say to me, at least not for a very long time, this wasn’t the woman to break that glass ceiling. Because to me and to many others, she was.

The concerns many of us have are impossible to spell out in this limited space. But a sampling of things topping my list are:  The Affordable Care Act, Roe vs Wade, climate change, LGBT rights, discrimination of all kinds, racism, immigration, jobs and living wages, education, the environment, our role in the world and how we are perceived (it matters), and yes nuclear war.

I am worried. Many others are worried. We have worried before, worry after elections is normal, but this time there is also fear, so much fear.

The other day I noticed people making the statement and using the hashtag, #NotMyPresident. Dear Hubby even said to me, he’s not my president. I understand this sentiment, believe me, I do. But I do not agree with it. Donald Trump will be my president. If you live in the US, he will be your president.

So the bottom line is yes, I want him to succeed because I want my country to succeed. And I wish him well (but I admit it’s hard, and I do so only because I care about this country).

Perhaps I’ll make it to the acceptance stage some day. I want to. As they say, time will tell.

But right now, I am incredibly sad and disheartened.

I am still in mourning.

I feel like that proverbial tiny, lonely flame that’s nearly been snuffed out, but somehow keeps flickering.

I’m confident that in time, that little flame will burn brightly again because there is much work to be done, and now I know I have to help get it done.

As Bill Maher stated in HBO’s Real Time season finale Friday, November 11,  2016, “We’re (the Dems) still here.”

And we are not about to stay quiet. (I hope you do click on the above link and watch. It really is funny and we need some humor about now, no matter which side you’re on).

This country will be okay. Its people will be okay. I will be okay. I believe these things to be true. I have to.

But right now, I am still in mourning.

Thank you, Hillary Clinton, for your decades of hard work in public service. You achieved great and honorable things inspiring many along the way, including me. We still need your voice, so don’t stay quiet too long.

Onward…

If you live in the US, how do you feel about the 2016 Presidential election result? 

If you live outside the US, how do you feel about it?

Note:  As always, I welcome all viewpoints when shared respectfully.

US flag featured image via Wikimedia commons.