The numbers game & you are enough!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about numbers and why they matter. Or rather, I’ve been reminding myself to remember that they don’t. Or at least not as much as I sometimes think they do.

Maybe you’ve thought about this too.

Or maybe you’re reading this and asking, what in the world is she talking about now?

Well, as a blogger who’s been at it for over a decade now, I’d be lying if I said numbers don’t matter. I mean, who doesn’t want readers for their words, right?

On the other hand, I no longer fret (as much) about numbers, SEO (search engine optimization), choosing the most clickable blog post titles, algorithms (who can figure them out anyway?), the latest Instagram hacks (advice is endless), number of views, and a whole bunch of other stuff I’m supposed to be worrying about if I want to be a successful writer/advocate — whatever that even means. What is success anyway? (I think that is a separate post.)

Nope. I’m back to focusing more on what I enjoy — writing. And posting what I want, when I want, and how often I want on social media platforms.

Sure, I try to implement some advice I hear, but most of it, I ignore and do what I want.

Numbers and algorithms be damned! (Sort of.)

As an indie author, I’ve immersed myself in learning about how to better market my books. All of them. A while back it finally hit me that I’m the one who needs to tell potential readers out there about my books. After all, I don’t have a professional marketing team. I am it. And you, my readers. That’s it. We are the team. (Thank you.)

My books don’t magically land in the hands of readers. (I wish.) No, I have to talk about them on social media, here on the blog, in my weekly email, and wherever and whenever I can.

My goal is to sell 30 or so more books this year. (And remember, I’ve got three books.)

Now, some folks would say, yikes. That’s it? You poor thing. You should be selling that number of books every single day.

Others might say, wow, 25 books or so a month is a great number!

It depends on where you’re coming from, right?

Everything, as they say, is relative.

If you’re on Instagram, Facebook, X, TikTok, or any social media platform like I am, you might think about numbers too. I mean, who doesn’t like to have a huge number of followers, views, tons of likes and shares, and so on?

Most of us, and I can guarantee that all authors, are looking for engagement and growth. It’s social media, after all. I’ve always dreamed of having that one post (anywhere) that goes viral. (Have you?) It’s never happened and likely never will.

Landing on a best-sellers list somewhere likely won’t ever happen either. (I can still dream, though.)

So what?

Does it really matter how many people are impacted positively by words you write or actions you take? Maybe. But maybe not.

Does the work of a NYT’s best-selling author have more value than mine due to her larger reach? Yes, and no. Small reaches matter too. (This is what I tell myself anyway. But I believe it.)

So, when your numbers aren’t growing as fast as you want, or are even going down, you might get discouraged. You might feel like quitting. Trust me, I know.

So, what does all this have to do with YOU, Dear Reader?

What’s my point in talking about the numbers game?

Well, it’s this:

You are enough even if you have a handful of friends/followers, likes, comments, shares, or whatever on your blog or social media platforms of choice.

You are enough if you’ve opted out of being the model breast cancer advocate — whatever that even means. You are doing enough if you’re encouraging one other person in her cancer maze, other life crisis, or life in general.

Being a Witness for someone in pain (and in good times) is enough. (This is a theme in EMERGING.)

You are doing enough if you share your story (any sort) with a handful of people — or even just one other person.

Taking this number thing ever further…

You are enough if the number on your scale doesn’t say what you want or is going in the wrong direction.

You are enough if you have two breasts, one breast, or no breasts.

You are enough if you’re moving your body for “x” amount of minutes every day. In fact, you’re enough if you aren’t moving your body at all.

You are enough even when it seems others your age seem to look better and be doing more. (It’s often an illusion.)

You are enough if your house isn’t decorated to the hilt this Christmas or if you end up baking only one or two batches of holiday cookies instead of the half dozen you used to. (Heck, forget baking altogether, and go buy some goodies if need be. That works, too.)

Bottom line, the danger in the numbers game is that it too often leads to comparison. Which can lead to feeling inadequate. Which can lead to giving up.

So…

Join me in trying not to fret too much about the numbers. Try to stop comparing yourself to what your co-workers, friends and family, fellow cancer survivors, and neighbors are doing. (And in my case, fellow authors)

Remember what you ARE doing matters.

Small achievements count, too. (Even if it’s just unloading the dishwasher or taking a shower.)

So, do what YOU do. Lean into it. Be proud of it. Be proud of yourself. Share your unique gifts with the world. (Or at least with one or two other people.)

And always, keep going.

Because you are enough — even when you think you are not.

What’s a numbers game you’ve been caught up in?

Do you compare yourself to others, and if so, how do you stop doing that when it becomes a problem?

What is something you do, or did, that you are proud of?

Share this post with someone you know who might need some encouragement. Thank you!

Note from Nancy: I wrote about cancer language, cancer worry, survivor guilt, loss, pet grief, COVID-19, DIEP flap surgery, life as an introvert, aging, resiliency, and more in EMERGING. Available at Amazon and most other online booksellers. Click on the image below to order your copy today!