Two Years – Shouldn’t Grief Be Easier Now?

Hi Nancy,

Grief is, indeed, tied with love. As we enter August, my grief is increasing -- I'm approaching the year anniversary of my aunt's death. Last year, after she died, I cried myself to sleep, and I slept often. I find I'm starting to sleep a lot again. I'm exceedingly depressed. Yes, I loved her to the ends of the Earth, and now she's gone. She was a parent to me, teaching me all about life. Now she's gone. And I find myself wondering how I've been coping all this time after she died. It is so hard to live without her.

Grief is just love with no place to go. Such a moving way to look at the pain of grief. I really get this. Even after 7 years after my mother's death, my heart still aches with love and longing. Sending all my love to you and each one of your readers who feels the pain of loss and grief today x

Nancy dear, I woke up this morning, turned on my laptop and the first thing I saw was your tweet about this piece. Meant to be. Yes, July is bittersweet. Two of our young Lovelies died four days apart in July 2012. We will never forget the incomparable May Smith and Linda Ritzco. Three years ago today my daughter's sweet love passed away unexpectedly at the age of 28. It was devastating in ways that cannot be expressed in words. Sudden loss in someone so young is unbearable. Today it all comes bubbling to the surface and I am reminded that where there is deep grief there was great love. That love is triumphant and everlasting. Thank you my friend for having a safe space where I can share my heart. Sending you love across the miles as you remember your beloved dad.

The very week my mother went into a nursing home following a harrowing month in the hospital in which she escaped near death, my father was diagnosed with inoperable Stage 4 Gastric Carcinoma. His prognosis was poor, so he only lived another 2 months. In that time, he became progressively weaker and ended up going into the same nursing home as my mom. At first, they were in different rooms and he would walk over to visit with her, usually falling asleep on her bed while she sat in her wheelchair.

Within a week, he could no longer walk there and used a wheelchair to spend the day with her. Meanwhile, the staff was hard at work trying to put them in the same room. The mission was finally accomplished and he died 2 weeks later in the bed next to her. Although he passed during the night, by then mom was disoriented. She couldn't fully grasp that he had died and would often ask later on when dad was coming to visit. Despite all her memory loss, she still remembered her home telephone number and called it one day. She told me a woman answered that she didn't recognize, so she proceeded to call her out, wanting to know what she was doing in her house. As sad as this is, and as difficult it was to deal with these simultaneous tragedies, this last episode brought a little levity into the situation.

She died 6 years after my dad and I miss them very much and think of them often. At the age of 73, I still feel a need for the unconditional love and acceptance that only parents can give us.

I lost my husband of 57 years in August, 2017 of lung cancer. It has not been quite a year yet and I feel worse than when he died. There is hollow void as though I lost part of myself. I really thought I would be better as time went on but that didn't happen. He and I spent so much time together to the exclusion of others for many years and life is empty now. At 77 years old there is no adjustment that I see to be made. So I fill my time with trivia and get thru each day with my faith in God until He takes me too.