Cancer Was Not, Is Not, & Never Will Be A Gift!

My breast cancer was not a gift. It did not make me a better person. I kind of like to think that I was a pretty good person before cancer. My mom was diagnosed with colon cancer (later determined to be stage 4) on Christmas Eve 1999 and died on Christmas Eve 2000. My youngest was just two years old. Mom did not get to see her grandkids grown up. Her cancer was not a gift. My grandma died from pancreatic cancer when I was 25. It was a horribly painful experience for her. Her cancer was not a gift. An aunt beat breast cancer only to have it recur in her brain 10 years later. She is still battling but her cancer was not a gift. My 35 year old cousin is currently undergoing chemo for a rare type of cervical cancer while still dealing with fresh grief from the death of her mother from lung cancer last spring. She has been thrust into premature menopause and is now at an increased risk for osteoporosis, among other things. Her cancer is not a gift. Another cousin died at 41 years old from complications from a rare, aggressive form of stomach cancer. The treatment got rid of her cancer but did so much damage to her body that she was unable to survive. Her cancer was not a gift. Another cousin's wife had breast cancer while they were uninsured after a job loss. She has lifelong health issues because of the treatment that saved her life. They lost their home because of the medical bills. An uncle battled lung cancer for five years before succumbing to the disease. Another cousin recently finished treatment for salivary gland cancer. He now has damage to his thyroid from the radiation. Cancer is a horrible disease.

Hi Nancy,

I don't see the disease itself as a gift. Like so many breast cancer havers, I've been through utter hell and have lost dear friends to breast cancer. It has caused anguish, fear, suffering, and an infinite number of other aspects.

I am not the same. I have PTSD. It's real.

Yet, and I wouldn't call this an epiphany, but as you know I was in a terrible place before cancer -- a marriage with an abusive, neglectful husband who stole all of my money. It was hell. When I got cancer, I immediately and finally thought to put MY needs first. After treatments ended, so did my marriage. At the time, I was grieving terribly, for divorce is painful and is also a reason we grieve. But as time went on, I leaned into my super supportive aunt and good friends to help me move on.

Cancer was the final straw to that marriage. Would it have ended if I hadn't ever gotten cancer? I don't know. All I know is that cancer is not a gift, but I did gain perspective enough to leave the jerk I was married to.

Ya the gift that keeps on giving...not! I've never felt my mbc was a gift. Nor the two early stage cancers starting at age 38. I've been in and out of treatment for 23 years of my life. I do feel lucky to still be alive, but I've lost more than I can remember having at this point. And I'm mad as hell that in 23 years, so little has changed in treating breast cancer. It's still incurable and the treatments are horrible. It's so disheartening. I've lost so many lovely friends to this shitty disease.

Cancer is a gift??? On what planet is a chronic, fatal, relapsing disease a gift? I feel judged and minimized when I hear this

I can't wrap my head around the sentiment of cancer being a gift. I lost my dear sister to cancer. That was no gift. My Mom, my Auntie, another sister and myself all slogged through treatment and it was no gift. I was angry and annoyed. The only positive was that I survived as did my second sister. Nothing else about it was good. Nothing !!