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Eleven Things I Miss About My Mother On Mother’s Day & Every Day

Another Mother’s Day is nearly here. This will be my eighth one without a mother. I totally realize I am lucky to have had a mother in my life well into my own mature adulthood. I fully realize many are not as lucky as me. Far too many have grown up without a mom or without remembering a mom in their lives. This is a difficult thing for me to imagine, but unfortunately, far too many understand this reality too well.

A mother’s love is something special. When your mother is gone, her love isn’t. This is important to remember and so very comforting, too, no matter how old you are or how long your mother’s been gone. A mother’s love is forever ‘stamped’ into, onto and around your heart.

For Mother’s Day I thought I’d share eleven things I miss about my mom. Of course, this list isn’t complete, nor is it in any order of importance. It’s totally random. And don’t ask me why I went with eleven things. Like I said it, it’s random. Thanks in advance for reading my list.

  1.  I miss my mother’s  goodbyes.

My mother was the “queen of goodbyes”. Saying goodbye after visits to my parents’ house was a big deal and something that could never be hurried. There was protocol to follow when leaving her front porch. Now there is that empty space.

  2.  I miss how my mother made everything look so easy. I could still use my role model now and then. Okay every day.

My mother raised four kids, kept a spotless house, held down a part-time job, put on holiday celebrations and other get-togethers like no one else, was an avid reader, socialized regularly with her many friends and volunteered in countless, time-consuming leadership capacities at her church – while making it all look easy. How did she do that?

  3.  I miss the way my mother could start and keep conversations going.

As I’ve written about before, my dad is and always has been, a man of few words. My siblings and I are of the reserved nature as well. My mom on the other hand, could converse with anyone about anything. I don’t have that gift. I miss listening in on her conversations.

  4.  I miss the way my mother grand-mothered all the grandchildren in the family.

If anyone said anything unkind about any of them, watch out. She loved her grandchildren intensely, completely and unconditionally. I am so grateful my children knew and remember her.

  5.  I miss how my mother always made me feel special.

I may have been daughter number three, but I never felt third in anything.

  6.  I miss our chats about books and movies.

My mother loved books and often stayed up into the wee hours reading and wasn’t one bit embarrassed or apologetic about sleeping in late the following morning. Fittingly, she was the town librarian, so somehow she managed to land the perfect job for herself. She was also an avid movie goer and not a bad critic at that. Elizabeth Taylor was her favorite female movie star. Good choice.

  7.  I miss my mother’s stories about growing up in North Dakota during tough times.

I should have listened more attentively…

  8.  I miss the krumkake and rosettes my mother made each Christmas and how she strategically rationed out all her tasty home-made holiday treats, miraculously making them last until my older sister’s birthday on January 2nd. And I miss the gravy she made for our annual Thanksgiving feast. It was so good. Actually, I miss the whole darn meal.

Even though I have the recipes for all the above, I can’t seem  to replicate any of them.

  9.  I miss how my mother irritated me sometimes.

It would be lovely to be irritated by her again now and then.

10.  I miss seeing my mother’s roses.

I don’t miss roses, just her roses. Personally, I have no desire to grow roses. Why would I want to grow plants that have daggers on them? But I do miss her beautiful roses and seeing the rest of her gorgeous blooms as well.

11.  I miss the loving bantering that went on between my mom and dad.

I miss how my parents made each other happy. I’m glad that when my mom died from metastatic breast cancer, my dad was holding her hand.

I miss these things about my mother and so many more…

Don’t get me wrong, my mother wasn’t without faults. Who is?

Our relationship wasn’t perfect either. But it was solid.

I miss my mother, think about her every day and remind myself how lucky I was to have had her in my life for as long as I did.

Happy Mother’s Day to mothers everywhere and to all women who love and nurture children, and not just their own.

Is there a special mom, grandmother, aunt or other special person no longer living who you think about on Mother’s Day?

What do you miss about them?

What are your Mother’s Day plans?

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One of my all-time favorites
My mother, my daughter and bunny – one of my all-time favorite pics

 

My mother's roses
My mother’s roses

 

20 thoughts to “Eleven Things I Miss About My Mother On Mother’s Day & Every Day”

  1. It’s hard to believe you don’t think you can hold a conversation. If that is true, you surely make up for it with the written word.

    1. Ilene, It’s not that I can’t hold a conversation, I’m just not a very skilled conversationalist. I do prefer to write rather than speak any day, especially when engaging with people I don’t know well. My mother on the other hand, knew how to converse with anyone and made it appear easy. For me it’s not. Thank you for reading and commenting.

  2. Happy Mother’s Day to you, Nancy. Your loving post reminds me of all the qualities my own mother exhibited. She has been gone over 10 years, but fortunately all her grandsons remember her and her kindness toward everyone. I’ll never be the mom she was, but she is a terrific role model. Thanks for your fabulous tribute. xxx

    1. Jan, I’m glad my post reminded you of your mother. You and I are indeed blessed that our children knew their grandmothers. Thank you for reading and for sharing about your mom. Happy Mother’s Day to you too. xx

  3. Wonderful tribute to your mother.
    I still miss my mom and dad, both. One of the first things I said to my grandson was “Your greatgrandma (my mother) would have loved you so much.”
    My mom grew roses, too, and so do I.

    1. Elizabeth, What a sweet thing to say to your new grandson and so very true I’m quite sure. It’s lovely that you grow roses like your mom did. I love roses in other people’s gardens, not my own. May you enjoy some lovely memories of your mom this Mother’s Day and of course, create some new ones too.

  4. Nancy, Happy Mother’s day to you.

    I love this post because it’s close to my heart. My grandma raised me from day one until the age of 14. She died when I was 19 from ovarian c. I never had a relationship like the one I had with her. She was, and will always be, my mom.

    What I miss:
    Her laugh
    Her touch
    Her food
    Her stories
    Her persistency to think I was her little girl
    The way she looked at me
    Her constant worries about me
    The way she held my hand when crossing the streets despite the fact i was 13
    Her sweets
    Her unconditional love
    And so much more..

    But I still see her in my dreams and she has spoken to me. My heaven will be to see her face again.

    I am sorry they are no longer with us.

    1. Rebecca, Thank you for your beautiful words about your grandma; what a wonderful and loving person she was. I’m sorry cancer robbed you of more time with her. xx

  5. Nancy,

    I’m so very saddened reading this. Your mom sounded so special, and while you are understandably grateful that she was in your life for so long, truth is MBC still robbed you of more time with her and your children more time with their grandmother. I can’t imagine the pain and sorrow you feel, but your post made the pain and sorrow clear.

    I’m very lucky that my mom is still alive and healthy. I’ve always been close with her — we’ve had our difficult moments — but I’ve always loved her. Your blog and perspectives have made me appreciate my mother much more. And for that I thank you.

    I’m going to have a low-key Mother’s Day with Arielle. I try to savor each moment. Truth is, every day is Mother’s Day.

    By the way, you are an excellent conversationalist. I know because we met and had a conversation. 🙂

    1. Beth, Yes, you are lucky your mom is still alive and healthy and I’m glad you have a good relationship with her. You’re very sweet to say my blog has made you appreciate her more. I have a feeling you’ve always been pretty appreciative. You might think that writing this post made me sad, but actually, it mostly made me feel grateful to have had a mother for so many years and to be able to miss these things about her, if that makes sense. But, of course, I feel sad and angry that cancer robbed us of more time. Thank you for your kind comments. And you were easy to talk with that day we met because I kind of felt like I already knew you.

  6. I miss my Mum like you miss your Mom Nancy. There’s a space where she used to be – her laugh, her cooking, her decorating the house at Christmas, her compassion and selflessness. I know she’s still here in my heart but sure wish she’d had the chance to spend longer with me and my Dad, to retire with him so they could grow old together, to get the chance to know and cherish her grandson. I guess I wouldn’t have wanted her to witness my own cancer diagnosis because she saw too many of those amongst her sisters, Mother and Aunts but even if she had, I know she’d have coped with it. Whatever life threw at her, that’s what she did, she coped with good grace and had a smile for everyone.

    1. Tracy, I’m very sorry your mum was stolen from your family by cancer too. I’m sorry you understand about that empty space. I have thought about what it would have been like for my mom to witness my cancer. Like you, in a way I’m glad she was spared that. But not really. Does that make sense? I have a feeling it does. Thank you for reading and for sharing about your mum.

    1. Lindsay, There are many things to miss about her that’s for sure. Glad you have lots of memories. Thank you for sharing a couple.

  7. What a wonderful tribute. My mother died in July 2013. I didn’t get to tell her goodbye. It still hurts. She was my very best friend. She used to slip a $20.00 bill in my purse when I wasn’t looking even though I was a grown adult and had my own money. She was so thoughtful. I am only sorry I will never be as good as her. I miss her terribly with Mothers day being sunday.

    1. Linda, I am sorry you didn’t get to tell your mother goodbye, but I’m sure she knew how you felt about her. I understand how you miss her. I miss mine, too. Thank you for reading and commenting.

  8. I miss the fact that I never got to know my mother. She died when I was 3, at age 28, from cancer. Probably breast or ovarian. I thnk my life we have been so different if I’d had a mother….

    1. Cathy, What a moving comment. I am very sorry cancer stole your mother from you when you were so young. How horrible to grow up without her. Cancer is a cruel thief. Thank you for sharing.

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