When my daughter and soon to be son-in-law were helping me set up my blog a year and a half ago, I asked my daughter, “Do you think my blog’s name and heading – Nancy’s Point, A blog about breast cancer and loss, is really depressing?”
“Well, a little bit,” she answered honestly.
At the time, I asked myself well, how do you write about breast cancer and loss without it becoming too depressing? Is that even possible? How do you write about such serious matters in a way in which people might still want to read it?
I don’t know the answers. Back then I decided all I could do was tell the truth, my truth. That’s what I still try to do. I believe in truth telling, even when it’s hard and this week it’s really hard.
This week my truth is this: I’ve been feeling like screaming, I’ve been feeling like crying and sometimes I’ve been feeling like doing both at the same time.
On the one hand, all I want to do is scream out at the injustice and cruelty of metastatic breast cancer. I want to
I will no longer accept excuses for our lack of more humane treatments. Sometimes it’s hard to tell which killed the person, the cancer or the treatment.
I will not settle for minuscule amounts of funds raised being spent on metastatic breast cancer research – 2% is NOT enough!
I will not be satisfied with pink ribbons, and races and walks.
I will not be quiet when it seems as if breast cancer has become accepted, almost as if it is a normal thing.
I will not be quiet when breast cancer is portrayed as a fight you can win if you just stay positive and fight hard enough.
I will not accept that 40,000 deaths per year to breast cancer alone is true progress in this war that was declared on cancer forty years ago.
I am tired of being patient.
In the end, my discontent is not what matters. The facts of metastatic breast cancer matter. I hope you’ll visit the Metastatic Breast Cancer Network website and learn about some of them.
Sometimes during the past few days I did not feel like screaming.
Sometimes I felt like weeping and I did.
I wept for my mother and now for Rachel and Susan and also for Cheryl who passed away on January 15, 2012. I wept for all the women (and men) lost to metastatic breast cancer and the ones I know and do not know who will still be lost.
But weeping will not change things. Screaming in frustration will not change things.
We need meaningful action to change things.
If you are as appalled as I am about the 40,000 lives still being lost each year to metastatic breast cancer, please join in the discussion. Please visit METAVivor Research & Support, Inc. for more information. Please join an Army of Women. Please donate to a charity that actually focuses on research. Please expect accountability from whatever charities you do donate to.
Please do not settle. Most importantly of all, please do not stay quiet.
Join me and so many others in expecting, no demanding more.
As Stacey from Bringing Up Goliath said in a recent post, “Don’t let it (the losses) be for nothing.”
Some days are for screaming. Some days are for crying. Some days are for both.
This is one of those
Rachel’s family chose the following organizations as ones being worthy for donations made in her memory. If they are good enough for Rachel, they are good enough for me. Check them out.
Who are you remembering?
How do you handle anger and sadness after loss?
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