Another October is here, and with it comes another month of breast cancer awareness shenanigans. Once again, there will be too-many-to-count posts and articles to read about pink ribbon this and pink ribbon that. (Not that any of it is actually about pink or pink ribbons at all; it goes way deeper than that).
There will undoubtedly again be many chances to get frustrated with the nonsense that will surely come. I’ve got a few posts of my own planned.
But guess what?
All that can wait because for me, October will always, first and foremost, belong to my dad.
My dad’s birthday is October 3rd. I don’t say, “was”, because it is still his birthday. It always will be.
This year, my dad would have turned 90. That’s a lot of years of living he was blessed with. I know that. I understand that. And I am grateful. I am, but I wanted a few more, just one more. Had we had more, that would not have been enough either. This is just the way we tend to think, I suppose.
And by the way, when someone’s elderly loved one dies, it is not comforting for her to hear, at least your dad lived a long life.
True, but not comforting. Not right now. Probably never.
But back to October…
Many of my online friends dread October. Hate it even. Not me. I love October. Always have. Always will. I love it in spite of the pink craziness. My dad loved October too.
I love October for many reasons.
But mostly because October will always belong to my dad. ❤️
How do you feel about October these days?
What’s your favorite month?
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One of our first pics together.
One of our last – taken on my dad’s last visit to my house.
Sue
Sunday 2nd of October 2022
September and October are my favorite months because I enjoy the Fall season. However, October holds special meaning because it’s also my dad’s birthday. He’ll be turning 85 on October 5 this year. Thank you for sharing the photos of you and your dad. So very special. I’m looking forward to reading your upcoming posts this month, Nancy.
Nancy
Tuesday 4th of October 2022
Sue, Gosh, your dad's birthday is so close to my dad's. I hope you get to see your dad on, or near, his special day. Thank you for your kind words. They mean so much. Enjoy fall; it goes by so quickly! I sure plan to. x
Julia
Saturday 1st of October 2022
Sorry to hear about your dad Nancy. I love October too. Both our dads will be 80 this month (how did that happen?) and three of our nephews and one niece have birthdays in October too. This October we have a couple of family get togethers planned. Also I love the Autumn/Fall colours and the weather. We often have blue sky and sunshine and sometimes it’s warm!
I’ve felt quite conflicted about breast cancer awareness month since my breast cancer diagnosis. Encouraging people to check for signs and symptoms is good and knowledge is good but a lot of it isn’t. This year I plan to cope by not thinking about it too much. I have to look after my mental health.
Elizabeth Lowe
Monday 16th of August 2021
Nancy, I was Googling the author who wrote that grief is love with nowhere to go (I know I didn't quote that verbatim) and found what you wrote about your father. I just lost my dad in July; his birthday was also in October, and felt compelled to comment out of kinship. My dad would have been 103 this October and was sharp as a tack and a one-of-a-kind man who was loved by so many. The last few months our visits were different because of COVID, which I suppose has both helped this transition and filled me with extra grief because I was looking forward to in-person family gatherings and hugging him. I am realizing that grief is deep, it is forever, and that losing a parent is life changing. I am entering a whole other part of life, a threshold I never wanted to cross, and it is bringing new, albeit unwelcome, depth to my life. I know my grief won't go away, although I will somehow learn to manage it because I must. Thank you for putting these things into words.
Nancy
Monday 16th of August 2021
Elizabeth, I am so sorry about your dad. Grief is deep indeed. And forever. I understand much of what you're feeling, although of course, at the same time, everyone's grief is personal. It's so hard, but I hope it helps knowing you're not alone. I really appreciate you taking time to comment. That means a lot. Again, I'm sorry.
Nadj
Thursday 28th of September 2017
Hi Nancy, thank you for sharing your thoughts, lessons and inspirations. It helps me to be strong. I lost my dad just recently, September 10. I came through your site as I was searching on Google how to cope with the pain and grief. I happen to read your article on Huffington Post on "8 Tips for Coping with the Death of a Parent." Then I clicked the link to your website.
Reading the articles related to grief, I learned we have a lot in common, like my dad was a history teacher too and his birthday is October. That's why I commented on this post because just like you, October will always belong to my dad. I always associate this month with my dad.
Another thing we have in common, we love pets and we (me and my mom) also let go of one of our pet dogs 3 days after my dad's funeral. Just like you, we chose euthanasia rather than see our 7-year old female dog suffer from the pain and uncertainty of going though pyometra surgery.
Indeed, sharing your grief and thoughts help.
Thank you Nancy.
Nadj, 26 yeard old Daddy's girl from Philippines
Nancy
Thursday 28th of September 2017
Nadj, I am very sorry about your dad's death. I'm glad reading some of pieces has been helpful. I appreciate you telling me that. October will first and foremost always belong to my dad. The same will be true for you as well. Interesting they were both history teachers. And yes, I love our family pets. Sorry you had to make the tough decision to let one of yours go. It's very hard. Thank you for reading and commenting. Take care of yourself. Grief is for the long haul. But so is the love.
Beth L. Gainer
Thursday 20th of October 2016
Hi Nancy,
I'm playing catch-up with your post. I'm so behind in my blog readings. My brother shares your dad's birthday! October 3 is special for me, too. I know you are grieving, and it's been rough, understandably. I wish I could give you a hug, but a cyberhug will have to do.
Anyway, I also love October because of the beautiful colors where I'm at. I love the crisp fall days and the crunch of leaves under my feet. This year, I have not allowed the pink stuff to get in the way of my appreciation for the month. Thank you for writing this.
Nancy
Friday 21st of October 2016
Beth, I remember that you, too, love October. I really haven't noticed much pink this year, well, compared to other years anyway. I wonder if we're starting to make a dent. I love that your brother shares my dad's birthday. Thanks for sharing that. And thanks for the cyber hug too. xx